Archive for November, 2002


November 25, 2002 - 9:42 pm Comments Off on Hypothesis:

They really need to do a scientific study. I have observed that a child can convert a single chocolate molecule into millions. If you give a child the tiniest crumb of chocolate, immediately they will have it all over their faces and look like Al Jolson. Someone needs to find out the amazing multiplicative powers that children have.

Ha ha ha, pew

November 23, 2002 - 12:10 am 1 Comment

The fun part of kids who have gas is that they tend to poot uncontrollably when you tickle them, which makes them laugh harder.

The only drawback is the odor.

Ok, that was scary

November 22, 2002 - 4:11 am 3 Comments

The 3 year old woke up this morning crying for a glass of water. She’s had a tummy bug for a few days so we’re really nervous about dehydration, especially since hub’s recent trip to the hospital. So hub takes her downstairs to get a glass of water, then runs up to brush his teeth and whatnot. When he goes back down, he finds her lying on the kitchen floor, limp and moaning. She was utterly lethargic and her eyes kept rolling back in her head, and her cheeks were bright red.

Freak out.

Rush her to the doctor who says that she’s just tired from being sick. She took something like 5 hours of nap today and seems to be a little better, although we scrapped our out of town plans for the weekend.

Anyone get migraines? I’ve had one for the last 2 days and I’m losing my mind. My doc gave me a sample of Imitrex the other day and it did nothing for me except make my nose run and give me the worst nasty ass-butt taste in the back of my mouth. I can deal with the Midrin, but it makes me soooooooooooo looooooooooooopy. Whee!

The one year old woke up with the most enormous bedhead I have ever seen in my whole entire life. She looked something like this, only with less facial hair and wrinkles.

My sleep schedule’s all awry since I joined 3 year old for a nap this afternoon. She and I slept in the big bed, and she refused to cuddle with me, the little twerp. Then when it was time for another nap, she went up and slept in our bed by herself, wanting nothing to do with her own bed. This is frightening because in the past 2 weeks we’ve had to do 2 emergency sheet changes on her bed due to various leaking bodily functions.

Luckily, our bed seems to be (mostly) unsullied. I think it’s high time I climbed into it.

Compare and contrast:

November 20, 2002 - 3:05 am 4 Comments


Sometimes I worry me

November 19, 2002 - 2:49 am 4 Comments

Men I find oddly attractive:

John Malkovich
Gary Oldman
Willem Dafoe
James Gandolfini
Joaquin Phoenix
Ben Stiller
Donald Sutherland

The anti-apathy post

November 19, 2002 - 1:58 am 1 Comment

What about Scientology?
Chilling Effects, the internet Cease and Desist Clearinghouse.
This guy carves sculptures out of pencil lead without benefit of even a magnifying glass.
Medical establishment finally decides that the Atkins Diet might not be so bad after all.
Sounds of the world’s animals.
You’ve probably seen it before, but Simon Swears. Not safe for work.
Just ended on eBay: WWII RARE ANAL BRIEFCASE, a.k.a. “I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass two years.”
Can anyone explain what Michael Jackson, Rosie O’Donnell, and Tom Cruise are doing?
Mean and nasty ingredients to do mean and nasty things to people.
Been putting off that mammogram? Do it online!
How they vote in Iraq.
What do you get for that girl on your list who has everything? Possum fur nipple warmers, of course.


November 18, 2002 - 9:11 pm 1 Comment

I’m so completely unmotivated to do anything right now. I’m too apathetic to watch a movie. I wanted to watch Harry Potter since it’s on HBO InDemand but the 2.5 hour time commitment is daunting.

Those children of mine got me sick. I don’t even have the inclination to play a damned computer game that requires any special thinking, even though I haven’t cracked open Icewind Dale 2 and Sims Unleashed. The only thing that excites me at this point is that hub went to Amy’s to get sundaes.

Go play JT’s Blocks. It’s fun.

I had a client call today needing help and I was able to solve his problems over the phone, thus saving him money and saving myself a trip over there. He just left a message on voicemail extolling my praises and calling me a genius. I love that.

Things to do today:

November 16, 2002 - 10:36 pm 4 Comments

– Quit wearing my heart on my sleeve
– Quit sweating the small stuff
– Eat lots of chocolate

Both the kids have fever and runny noses. The little one has slept about all day long, and the small amount of time she hasn’t been asleep she’s been clinging closer to me than Saran Wrap ever dream possible. They were supposed to go visit their grandmother tomorrow, but I dunno if that’s going to happen. If I don’t get a little Mommy time soon, I’m going to haul out a pair of pliers and a blowtorch. No, really, I honestly and truly do not want to see The Wizard of Oz for the 1497th time this week.

Good grief, I hope the baby sleeps tonight.

You know what would be ideal? Chocolate beer. That way it’s two goodnesses in one. Scuse me, I think I need to go mainline Hershey’s syrup.