There’s child abuse going on in this house. As in, I’m being abused by a child. An 11 month old. She smears up my glasses. When she’s mad she hits me. She gets on my lap and proceeds to wiggle, grab at stuff on my desk, and complain until I put her down, at which point she cries. She headbutts me. She likes to bite my clothes but sometimes she misses and bites me instead. She’s broken the skin twice doing this. When she wants attention she smacks at me and hollers. She pulls my hair.<\/p>\n
Enter hub. He picks her up off the floor, where I’ve put her because I’m tired of being beaten up. She then proceeds to sit quietly in his lap, occasionally gently bouncing or quietly waving bye-bye.<\/p>\n
And this always happens<\/i>. Why does she like to kick my ass? I so completely don’t understand.<\/p>\n
This morning she woke up around 7 to eat. 7 is much too early to wake up. Only weirdos wake up at that indecent hour. I fed her and crossed my fingers that she’d snuggle up to me and fall asleep. Well, she bopped around the bed for a while, quietly muttering, then crawled on top of my pillow (I have one of those extra firm tall space foam pillows), wrapped herself around my head, and fell asleep. I think she was a cat in a former life. Then she rolled over and fell off the pillow with a loud thud and it didn’t phase her a bit. She just kept quietly snoring those tiny baby snores.<\/p>\n
She’s adorable.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There’s child abuse going on in this house. As in, I’m being abused by a child. An 11 month old. She smears up my glasses. When she’s mad she hits me. She gets on my lap and proceeds to wiggle, grab at stuff on my desk, and complain until I put her down, at which […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3,12],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/258"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=258"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/258\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=258"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=258"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=258"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}