{"id":620,"date":"2003-07-11T01:11:03","date_gmt":"2003-07-10T20:11:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/archives\/620"},"modified":"2003-07-11T01:11:03","modified_gmt":"2003-07-10T20:11:03","slug":"a-letter-to-the-adolescents-in-my-neighborhood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/archives\/620","title":{"rendered":"A letter to the adolescents in my neighborhood"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dear fuckstains,<\/p>\n<p>I suppose you think that it&#8217;s cute, setting off firecrackers all night.  You think it&#8217;s funny to set off M80s one at a time while driving slowly past the house.  You think that putting a gross of black cats in a tin garbage can and lighting them is great fun.<\/p>\n<p>Know what I think?  I think you&#8217;re a giant waste of air.  If I had my way, I&#8217;d light bottle rockets and Roman candles and aim them at you.  You&#8217;re lucky my husband (for once) has the calmer head.  I am letting him deal with you.  It is better, at this time, if I do not do it myself.  <\/p>\n<p>However, if you wake up my children <b>one more time<\/b>, I will personally flay and castrate you stinking good for nothing wastes of air.<\/p>\n<p>Now don&#8217;t you have something better to do, like taunt others about the way they dress, or get drunk and drive and kill a carload of people, or have a nice 4:20, or whatever it is the cool kids are doing these days?<\/p>\n<p>Love,<br \/>\nYour Neighbor<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear fuckstains, I suppose you think that it&#8217;s cute, setting off firecrackers all night. You think it&#8217;s funny to set off M80s one at a time while driving slowly past the house. You think that putting a gross of black cats in a tin garbage can and lighting them is great fun. Know what I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[12],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/620"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=620"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/620\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=620"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=620"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/addlepated.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=620"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}