Fresh, Hot Wastes of Time

I’ve been waiting for my older daughter to ask where babies come from, but although she asks questions about everything else in the world, questions about the birds and the bees have been totally absent. Finally, the other day, I took the opportunity to give a rudimentary explanation while we were at the ranch, tying it into why deer calls work.

She gave me a wide-eyed look and asked, “Will *I* have to do that??”

(Well, of course I told her she didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to do, and besides, it’s only after she gets married anyway.)

I took the kids to the mall today to pick up some kidclothes. The stores are setting up for Christmas and playing Christmas music and putting up trees and tinsel and the Santa displays. And it’s not even Halloween yet. Is it any wonder people get grouchy about the holiday season? Too much of a good thing, folks. Seriously.

Anyway, of note on the way to the car was the fact that we passed a gentleman and lady. The gentleman was an utter doppelganger for Jimmy Stewart. Same twinkle in his eye, snow white hair, well-dressed. I’m afraid I gawked. Quite a bit, actually. Then I smiled and nodded at him as we passed on the sidewalk.

I wonder if Jimmy Stewart had any younger brothers?

(Oh, and also, whoever passed gas on the escalator? Ewwwwwwww. I feel lucky the kids didn’t shout, “SOMEONE POOTED, MOMMY!” Because I saw them wrinkling their little noses from the stench.)

I just opened Caroline’s lunch box and found:

An armrest slip cover
A piece of wood
A shell
A plastic McDonald’s toy
A small tube of glitter glue
and A small package of pretzels

Where does she dig this stuff up?

In spring and summer the tree frogs around here set up a cacophony that lasts through the first part of the night. Last night my daughter woke around midnight. I went up to see what was going on, and she asked, “Mommy, how come when I’m lying here I hear those frogs giggling like squirrels?”

And it’s true – they do sound like they’re giggling, and they do sound like squirrels!

Due to the fact that apparently some perverts have been passing around the URL for my kids’ pictures on an incest chat site, I’ve removed public access to their pictures. Email me if you would like a login.

No child left behind. Except for the bright ones, because I’m pretty sure they’re just showing off.

Texas law states that kids have to be five years old by September 1 to get into kindergarten. If you want to try to place a younger child into kindergarten, they have to take the third grade TAKS test and pass it.

Caroline misses the cut-off by a couple of days. Even though she’s reading, spelling, and writing, she can’t get into public school. The decision is not left up to the school districts, who would be in a position to evaluate and assess what kids are ready. It’s a state law, faceless, with no accountability and no flexibility.

Looks like we’re going to have to send her to private kindergarten next year and then hope they can place her into first grade the next year. That’s a real shame because Jo’s kindergarten teacher wanted to have Caroline in her class (and vice versa).

The law is an ass.

So one of Caroline’s classmates was so sick in school yesterday that he fell asleep on top of a table. Turns out he has strep throat.

Then today, Jo brings home a flyer saying that there’s lice in the school. She said two boys in her class have ’em.

I feel itchy.

After 10 days, Jo’s temperature finally stayed under 101 all day yesterday so we sent her to school today. She came home and after about an hour started complaining she was cold. I checked; 101.5. 30 minutes later it was 102.4. Guess it’s on to urgent care tonight.

Update: Sinus infection and both ears infected, too. Much Zithromax in her future. And she has to miss her 100 days of kindergarten celebration tomorrow.