Titties and beer. I
I had the strangest dream that Hillary Clinton was at the mall wearing jeans and deliberately left them at half mast to call attention to herself. Someone told me it was just an accident, and I insisted it was on purpose and showed just how conniving she could be, because if she left the zipper all the way down someone would be sure to tell her, so she left it halfway down because it would get attention, but if anyone stared too long she could call them a pervert.
I also had a dream that I was friends with Selma Hayek and she set out to kill Nicholae Carpathia through some vampire powers. We were in New Orleans staying on a hotel on top of Antoines, and had something like ten million dollars in cash and a bunch of guns in the hotel room. I called down to the concierge to make us a dinner reservation at 8 for my birthday that evening.
I had a pet buzzard in the room named Bobby that my two year old pulled off his wings and killed. We’d been feeding him dog food and trash. He smelled but I loved him.
We had to stash the cash and guns because we were going down to dinner, so hub put it behind an armoire and piled pillows on the sides. I grabbed two huge wads of cash and stuffed them in either side of my bra. Out the window we saw Carpathia and we barely missed seeing him in the restaurant. We ended up calling an uneasy truce with him after he killed Selma’s vampire friend.
Then the war between good and evil was over and we went to church, where the people were acting like nothing happened.
I really need to stop reading those silly Left Behind books before bed.