Going Postal

March 6, 2004 - 7:35 pm 5 Comments

I hate our mailman. He’s got a chip on his shoulder the size of Enchanted Rock. He does stuff like write “Return to sender, addressee unknown” on our mail. Once with an insurance bill, causing the cancellation of our auto insurance. He likes to leave packages in the grass by the mailbox for the sprinklers to water. He’s rude. Today I got a poster and it was too long for the mailbox, so instead of walk to the house to deliver it, the lazy bastard leaves it hanging out of the mailbox and uses a rubber band on the handle to keep it a little bit closed. When he brings us a package, he’s supposed to bring the mail too but he never does. Our old postlady used to stack our mail with the big stuff on the bottom and small stuff on top so it was easier to pick up. Not this guy. He crams it in there with great force, causing our envelopes and magazines to crumple. At Christmastime he sent us a card with a little happy note, otherwise known as begging for cash. That’s something he’s not supposed to do.

The problem is, it doesn’t matter how much we complain. Our neighbor complains too – she hates him. But, he’s disabled, and he’s a minority, and he fulfills a quota, so they can’t fire him. The local postmaster said this.

How sweet a deal is that? Be an incompetent bastard all day, every day, and keep the job! Woo!

5 Responses to “Going Postal”

  1. JenBen Says:

    I wonder if you can press crimintal charges against him for mail tampering. I’m serious!

  2. Monkey Says:

    That IS pitiful – especially considering there’s so many folks who would LOVE a postal job – the benefits are super, it’s a nice job – and instead it’s being filled with incompetent dudes like yours. Very sad. I am enjoying your blog – keep up the great work!

  3. kid Says:

    He does it differently than you think he should.
    He probably is technically following the rules…why not ask why he did “Return to sender, addressee unknown” Probably not addressed in all your combination of names?

    Needs education…get a bigger mail box? I imagine you can think of a variety of ways to solve the problem and increase kindness and respect for another human that must have his own problems.

  4. Hot Abercrombie Chick Says:

    Ah, quotas. I can’t believe that people still argue in favor of them.

  5. Bill Dennis Says:

    You have GOT to file a formal complaint. You have to do it every single time. You need to write your congressman and tell him/her what that idiot postmaster said. Get it on the record.

    Fight back against these idiots.

    I had a letter carrier who threatened to have a grade school ageg girl thrown in the federal pen because she left a birthday party invitation in someone else’s mailbox.