Fresh, Hot Wastes of Time

Unidentified orb washes up on South Carolina shore. Nobody knows what it is.
Could it be related to whatever’s making the mysterious blooping noise in the middle of the ocean?

We finally accepted an offer from the people who want to buy our lot. I’m a bit miffed because we came down 10% voluntarily, while they only came up 5%. The process of negotiation is supposed to be a give-and-take, not a take-and-take. If this weren’t our only offer in a year and a half, I probably would have told them to hit the road. Unfortunately, it’s a buyer’s market right now. We’re always on the wrong side of the market – bought 3 pieces of real estate when it was a seller’s market, and selling this one in the buyer’s market. Ah, well. Such is life.

The two year old is really being a pill lately. She’s a complicated kid, and always has been. But she’s a very loving kid, which helps make up for her temper. Amazing how different two kids can be from each other.

This jacuzzi would certainly be an ideal complement to my master suite, yes.
Pop, soda, or coke? Down here, it’s all coke. “I’ll have a coke, please.” “Sure, what kind of coke would you like?” “Dr. Pepper.”
Yet Another Weird Fetish – myopic girls. Leave it to the French.
“Fizzling can happen if the poop is supercharged with bubbles of fart gas” – the scoop on, well… poop.
Blog tool feature comparison table – this is actually useful.

Keep track of journalist partisanship for the NYTimes, Wall St. Journal, and Washington Post.
Is anyone else but Mike Tyson happy he’s still alive after getting pummeled by Lewis?
Another reason to be glad not to be Australian.

OS X users – you must go here now, now, now. Cool hacks that bring back the best features of OSes past.
Tesselating pavers – trip out on your sidewalk.
Sexual calorie counter
Men – having time keeping up with Aunt Flo’s visits? Worry no more.
Japanese traditional underwear – It is put between the cloth wound around the waist first firmly with putting the cloth which a thigh being passed through in the part of the hips.
Where morning breath comes from

Good thing the St. Louis police took care of that horrible teenage boy who was dealing… Pez?

I’m a bit concerned. See, I have this little bump. In my breast. I’ve had a mammogram and an ultrasound and a surgical consult and nobody knows what it is, but they don’t seem very concerned about it. The surgeon told me there’s less than a 5% chance it’s cancer. So I was planning on waiting until the baby weaned and then going in and getting it taken care of.

Except now I have another bump, this one in my ear. There’s been a little bump there for some years, but tonight I noticed that it was much bigger and rather achy. I’m falling apart or something. Maybe it’s just a bug bite. I hope.

Aw hell, everyone else does it, why not me? How compatible are you with me?

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Know anyone with a mildly hairy back? Point them to this site where they can feel bald-backed in comparison.
Medical fetish toys. Really.
How does Brundle-fly poop?
How to give off the impression that you might be gay.
The dog died about a year later. I think I would, too, if I were his dog.

Titties and beer.

I had the strangest dream that Hillary Clinton was at the mall wearing jeans and deliberately left them at half mast to call attention to herself. Someone told me it was just an accident, and I insisted it was on purpose and showed just how conniving she could be, because if she left the zipper all the way down someone would be sure to tell her, so she left it halfway down because it would get attention, but if anyone stared too long she could call them a pervert.

I also had a dream that I was friends with Selma Hayek and she set out to kill Nicholae Carpathia through some vampire powers. We were in New Orleans staying on a hotel on top of Antoines, and had something like ten million dollars in cash and a bunch of guns in the hotel room. I called down to the concierge to make us a dinner reservation at 8 for my birthday that evening.

I had a pet buzzard in the room named Bobby that my two year old pulled off his wings and killed. We’d been feeding him dog food and trash. He smelled but I loved him.

We had to stash the cash and guns because we were going down to dinner, so hub put it behind an armoire and piled pillows on the sides. I grabbed two huge wads of cash and stuffed them in either side of my bra. Out the window we saw Carpathia and we barely missed seeing him in the restaurant. We ended up calling an uneasy truce with him after he killed Selma’s vampire friend.

Then the war between good and evil was over and we went to church, where the people were acting like nothing happened.

I really need to stop reading those silly Left Behind books before bed.