Hub is watching Tom and Jerry right now. He can tell me what’s going to happen next in every single damned Tom and Jerry cartoon ever made. And he sits there and giggles while he watches. And now he’s got the 2 year old doing it too.
“Wook, Cwiffowd’s going to bwow away the cwouds!”
See? I don’t even need to watch TV. I get it recited to me.
I was on the phone with M.S. when I noticed that the baby had crawled under my desk and was busy drooling on and playing with the power strip where all my computer crap is plugged in. “Ohshit,” I said, “Hold on a second!” and I went to take the powerstrip away from her and it shocked hell out of me.
Now I am a very quiet-loving person by nature, and I don’t like anything that really takes me by surprise. It’s probably the control freak in me. Two things I hate most are getting shocked by electricity and sudden loud noises. I’ve been known to jump and shriek when hub lets out a particularly enthusiastic sneeze.
When I was really little, like maybe 3, I crawled under my grandparents’ Christmas tree and touched the plug and got shocked. Ever since then I’ve been afraid of being shocked. Further, I was such a wussy when I was a kid that I was afraid of fireworks (loud noises) and whenever I got a balloon I would make my parents either pop it or put it in the back room because I was terrified that it would pop while I was asleep.
Tellingly, the first time I glimpsed my husband-to-be, it was seeing him jump out from behind a bush while trying to scare me. I had seen him skulk back there, so I wasn’t really surprised.
Back to the story, my point is… uh… apparently nonexistent. Except perhaps that I needed to reiterate that I don’t like being shocked. Or startled.
Nine Inch Nails is excellent for treadmilling to, by the way. I’m thinking that 80s pop will do nicely as well. Anyone have suggestions for good workout music?
Well. We had an interesting dinner tonight. At around 8:30 we realized that 1) the two year old was still napping and 2) we had dinner to cook. I ran up to get the kid while hub got dinner preparations together. The menu was grilled marinated cornish game hens, garlic mashed potatoes, and wilted spinach salad. He had to go get the fire going, which normally takes a little while. He kept squirting lighter fluid and the fire kept *whoomf*ing up into the trees (our lot has no place that’s not completely canopied by trees, which is ok because we’re vampires as you can tell by the time of most of my posts).
Anyway, he tossed the birds on the grill and ran inside to wash out the pan. When he came out they were on Fire, with a capital F. Somehow he managed to get the fire out but now we had blackened grilled marinated cornish game hen.
By the time the birds were done, it was nigh unto 10:00 and the two year old was desperate for food, so much so that she kept stealing cheese and ham from the 10 month old and claiming she was “sharing”. Hub ran out to get the birds. He put them all into the pan, started to pick up the pan, and emitted a scream of pain. He thought he burned himself on one of the chickens. He hollered for a pot holder but I wasn’t fast enough or something and he ran inside to run his hand under cold water. At which point I look up and see that he’s brought a hitchhiker with him. A big huge gigantic angry red wasp, perched on the kitchen cabinets and looking big and huge and angry. I whip the baby out of the high chair and hold out my hand for the two year old saying “come here come here come here now now now it’s really important, baby” and she says…
come on… all together now…
“NO!”
So I grab her by the hand and hustle her into the other room and slam the door between us and the angry huge red wasp and paddle her, then worry because there are no curtains on the windows in that room and I wonder if the neighbors think I’m a child beater now.
In the meantime, hub dissects (well, more like cleaves in two) the big angry red wasp with our best most expensive butcher knife.
As we sat down to dinner (after putting the meat tenderizer and baking soda on hub’s hand; you’d think we were having it for dinner) I idly mentioned that maybe the wasp stung the chicken also, and one of us would take a bite and get a mouthful of venom.
I was joking of course, but hub didn’t think it was funny. He has no sense of humor sometimes.
Hub went upstairs to make us all sandwiches. He got his chicken salad made just the way he liked it. At this point the 2 year old decided it was naptime, so hub took her upstairs to put her to bed. He came back to the kitchen to find the cat eating his chicken salad. Hub then threw away said chicken salad in a fit of pique. And he’s threatening to pull off the cats’ legs.
About the cat. He’s 12 years old, anemic, hyperthyroid, and has kidney failure. I have to give him subcutaneous fluids nightly, plus 3 pills and a vitamin syrup. The poor guy has been on this nasty low protein special catfood for the past couple of years to control his renal failure. Can you blame the poor guy for trying to score some chicken salad?
The nine month old fell over the other day and smashed her head on a table leg. She grew an enormous goose egg and now has a nice big black bruise right smack dab in the middle of her forehead. She is an utter and total monkey and gets into everything and she quietly yarked yesterday after eating cheese. Then she played with the yark and then she came over and wiped her hands on my leg.
Man, we have a lot of cleaning to do before M. and D. come over with the kids. This is going to be a very full and happy house for the night but I imagine quite noisy as well. I’ve got an economy sized bottle of ibuprofen for M. and me. I’ll wager that the guys will retire to the porch and drink beer and be loud out there. Perhaps we can all go out there and play spades. I haven’t played in so long, I’ll probably end up bidding nil with the king of spades in my hand (hellooooooooo, K.C.!)
I’m supposed to be beta testing a game right now but I’m stuck playing Neverwinter Nights and I can’t… stop…! We finally got the LAN multiplayer thing going on but hub and I have totally different playing styles. I methodically and anally go through every single house, chest, box, pile of refuse, bag, pile of stones, or anything else that can be opened. I talk to everyone who has a real name (i.e. not “Stinky Peasant”). I try to get all the quests assigned to me that I can and then I go and complete them. All. Oh, and I’m a compulsive saver, too. I save before entering any door or new area, and before talking to anyone who looks important, and after every battle.
Hub just does his shit, gets the job done, moves on. I think I’m driving him crazy.
Somehow I got started reading the drug use trip reports over at www.erowid.org and it’s like looking at a train wreck. I must have read 100 since last night. People actually eat nutmeg to get high, for cry-eye-eye.
Hip dysplasia update:
Wait, maybe I should start at the beginning. When DD#2 was born, she was a whopping 9lbs11oz. At her one week checkup, the pediatrician was concerned because her right hip clunked. He sent us to a pediatric orthopedist who did a sonogram of her hips and said that her right hip had congenital hip dysplasia. He sold us this thing called a Pavlik harness, which makes babies look like little spiders. Hub and I were really dubious about the whole thing, since it seemed like a good way for the doctor to make money selling x-rays and harnesses. We were pretty lax about putting her into her contraption, especially since it made it really hard to breastfeed.
Came her orthopedic checkup a couple of months later and the doc said that her hip was still out of whack, but he was willing to let us not use the contraption for a while and see what happened. Well, it didn’t get any better and now she was too big for the Pavlik thing, so we had to get her a Rhino brace. So we’ve had her in it at night for the last 6 weeks and now her hip is almost completely better. The left one is at an angle of 30° and the right is at 29°. The doc said we can keep her out of it if we want, but we’ll most likely put it on at night for another couple of weeks, just so something doesn’t rear its ugly head down the road and she has to have surgery when she’s 12 or something.
Real estate update:
They countered our counter offer, so we countered their counter to our counter. Clear? It’s just like playing tennis. Or something.
This just in, from the TMI department:
2 year old woke up dry from her nap yesterday. Peed in potty. Today she pooped in potty. Film at 11.
I have been having really vivid and somewhat disturbing dreams lately. I’m anxiously awaiting the anonymous blog so that I may contribute.
What the hell kind of self-respecting Lab refuses to eat eggs? I just had a divine egg salad sandwich with onions and bacon and cheese and I dropped a little on the floor, and the stupid dog licked all the goo off the egg particle and left the egg on the carpet. Idjit.
The weather’s going to change. My arm hurts. Hub was apparently jealous of my weather forecasting ability, so he twisted his knee a while back (and if I tell the story of how he does it, I’ll probably get a call from a divorce attorney tomorrow, but suffice it to say that it makes me laugh [secretly of course] each and every time I think of it) and now it aches when there’s a change in the weather. I think he’s a Johnny-come-lately copycat man, but there it is.
I finally got my charm bracelet!
When our first daughter was born, since her due date was mid-October and October’s birthstone is opal, he bought me an opal ring. Which explains why, when I had preterm labor in September, he freaked out. Anyway, when I was pregnant this last time, hub asked me what I wanted as a mommy gift because he couldn’t think of anything. I told him I wanted a gold charm bracelet. Due to all sorts of reasons, we never got around to picking one out until now. He bought it today at James Avery. I’m really grooving on it.
I wanted to add charms for each of my girls and I really wanted some of those Aaron Basha baby shoes, but I had absolutely no idea that they were that pricey. We’re talking $1000 for a charm, people. Criminy.
So now I’m scouring eBay looking for cool charms. I have to be very careful to build this collection slowly so that I’m not out of room on the bracelet in 10 years. This is going to be very hard for me to do since I’m the kind of person who likes to take big bites to enjoy things more, rather than little bites to enjoy them longer.
I already have my justification ready for when I overbuy charms. I have 2 girls, and they’re going to get my jewelry some day, so doesn’t that mean I need 2 charm bracelets?
