Fresh, Hot Wastes of Time

…you can buy ammo at the grocery store.

Something tells me that asking the Austin Whole Foods where they keep their .308 might be a bad idea.

Sometimes I feel like life’s just a big jigsaw puzzle, only we’re missing that handy picture on the box cover that tells you how it goes. But every once in a while, if you look closely, you can catch a glimpse of the overall pattern.

Enlightenment is usually only temporary and then it’s back to living in a big jumble again. But those moments are so worth it.

I read something like this in a book once, only it had to do with a character finding nirvana while studying glass bricks. Wonder what that was.

My dream last night: I was going fishing. I cast my line into the water but realized there was no bait on it. So I affixed some Koosh-looking bait and cast again, but realized there was no hook. So I attached a hook, and cast again, but realized I needed a sinker. So I attached a sinker and waited patiently. I got a nibble, and with perfect Wii-developed The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess skills, I hooked my catch well and reeled it in. It was an enormous bass, the largest ever caught in the world. And because I was patient and adaptable, I attained it.

How trite.

Technically, this is a Pepper Shooter from Hog Island Deli, consisting of a marinated cherry pepper stuffed with prosciutto and sharp provolone.

Realistically, this is just too Goatse-esque to be truly comfortable to gnaw on it. (Please do not look up Goatse if you are my aunt.)

Because I’m getting so many hits for people searching for “fight club paper,” I’m going to include the text of my paper in this entry so that Google can index it and suspicious profs can look it up. Suck it, intellectual property thieves. (more…)

I got this telephone call tonight from Rep. Lamar Smith. He was having some virtual town hall meeting via telephone, and he called a couple hundred constituents from his district. If we wanted to ask a question, we could press zero. Mildly curious, I listened to the whole thing, which was pretty boring and featured the usual mighty trilogy of talking points (Middle East, health care, immigration) with very little in the way of answers.

The highlight of the call HAD to be the lady who was railing about immigration and said that we needed more border walls, because (I swear I am not making this up) the Chinese wall worked so well up until the point that Ronald Reagan said, “Mr. Kruschev, tear down this wall!”

After Rep. Smith regained his composure (he giggled for quite a while) he explained that the Berlin wall was to keep people in, not keep people out.

Also, I couldn’t quite make out what Wayne’s Worldian word one guy said when he was talking about Rep. Smith’s kids and how it seemed like just yesterday that they were off to Camp Iwannabeaman(?). Caller, if you’re out there, what the hell were you saying?

I just went through Fantastico on my webhost to see if there were any old, unused webapps I could uninstall. I get this urge to tidy up my directories once in a while. Turns out there were a couple of old forums I had that I didn’t use, so I told Fantastico to uninstall them.

It deleted the wrong database.

So I lost the database for the forum I’ve been running for 4 years now.

My most recent backup was in June.

I’m pissed off. Fantastico sucks.

Say what you will about Starbucks… I have a burr grinder from them that I bought a couple of years ago. It fell victim to my husband’s mysterious curse of breaking my coffee equipment (“Oops, I dropped it”). Definitely broken via abuse, definitely out of warranty. I called Starbucks to order a replacement hopper and they’re sending me one totally free, not even a shipping charge. Probably in hopes that I’d give them some good publicity. Which I will. Bing.