Weekly Tweets
September 28, 2014 - 12:00 am
- People with long hair, it is part of the social contract that you will keep that mess off of me in public spaces. Else ponytail that mess. 18:26:58, 2014-09-21
- Pro tip: if you hear the Macarena at a boy band concert, you're gonna want to duck. 19:34:23, 2014-09-21
- 8:55 and One Direction hasn't taken the stage. It's not like their fan base has to go to school in the morning. Also my phone battery's low! 20:00:32, 2014-09-21
- Every time my sweet precious little kitty opens his mouth to yawn, a cloud of MOST NOXIOUS DEATH FUMES emanates from the orifice and I reel. 23:46:14, 2014-09-24
- I wrote my daughters a note on their mirror: "SWEEP." It has been altered to "MERYL STREEP," Smartasses. 00:58:38, 2014-09-27