Fresh, Hot Wastes of Time

Been calling around to different gyms to get their rates, which can be a pain in the patoot, so I thought I’d share it here in case anyone else was looking:

Lifetime Fitness:
No contract
Single membership: $69.95/month; $79 “administrative fee” to join
Couple membership: $119.95/month; $105 administrative fee to join
Under 12 add-on: $6/mo
Family membership: $149/month
Personal training: $50-150/session
Note: This is where the awesome trainers David and Britney from the A&E show “Heavy” work.

24 Hour Fitness:
Initiation Fee: 136.34
Single membership: $29.99/month
Couple membership: $59.98/month
Personal training: 3 for $129; 10 for $649

Anytime Fitness on Bee Cave:
Contract
Initiation Fee: wouldn’t answer (“I never worry about that stuff!”)
Single membership: $39/month
Couple membership: $59/month
Personal training: $30-70/session
Note: I called this location for MONTHS and it wasn’t until I tweeted their corporate account with a complaint that I finally got a call back. Do not have high hopes for their customer service.

The Hills:
Contract
$25 per person “administrative fee” for enrollment
Single membership: $79/month
Couple membership: $134/month
Personal training: $45-75/hour

Gold’s Gym:
No initiation fee
Single membership: $15.99 biweekly WITH personal training (~31.98/mo), $17.99 biweekly WITHOUT personal training (~35.98/mo)
Additional members: $12.99 biweekly (~$57.96-61.96/mo)
Personal training: $55-75/hour

This joke is so old, it talks about Celis beer. Still funny, though.

There were these three guys drinking in a trendy bar down in the “Warehouse District” one night… a Californian, an Aggie and a bonafide Austin native (endangered species). Well after a few minutes, the Californian goes over to the bartender and orders a bottle of the finest red California wine on the menu. The bartender hands it over and the Californian pulls out a sterling silver corkscrew. He uncorks the bottle, takes the offered glass, pours a small mouthful, swirls it around in the glass, smells it deeply and drinks it down, then with a smile of satisfaction on his face, the Californian suddenly throws the bottle into the air, pulls out a small 22 derringer and shoots the bottle in midair, spraying fine California wine and shattered glass all over the bar.

The patrons demanded to know, “Why on earth would you waste such fine wine and act like such an ass?”

The Californian cooly replied, “Hey, I’m from California. Where I come from, we have plenty of great red wines!”

The patrons, grumbling, went back to their drinking, and then the Aggie swaggered up to the bar and ordered a bottle of Perfidido tequila. Upon delivery, the Aggie uncorked the bottle with his teeth, took a single sip, and throwing the bottle into the air, wheeled around, pulled out a .44 Magnum and with a mighty roar and flash, shot the erstwhile bottle of tequila into another reality, spraying the assembled patrons again, with finely powdered glass and mists of fine tequila.

This produced more cries of outrage, followed by the query, “Hey, why would you waste such fine tequila like that?”

The Aggie replied, “I’m from Texas, where I come from, we have rivers of tequila, no problem!”

After awhile, the Austin native went up and ordered a Celis Pale Bock. The bartender brought it over and popped the cap from the bottle and the Austin native tilted it back and drained it to the last drop. Then, with a satisfied smile, he touched his crystal pendant hanging around his neck, hauled off and threw the Celis bottle into the air, pulled out a crusty old 38 special and taking very careful aim, shot the Californian and the Aggie and caught the bottle before it hit the ground.

After a moment of stunned silence, one of the patrons ventured to ask, “Why on earth did you do that?”

The native of Austin replied, “I’m from Austin. Here we have gobs of Californians, and even more Aggies, but a glass bottle, you can recycle that!”

Just spent a great 5 days at SXSW Interactive, and I’m WORN OUT! I got to catch up with some old friends, meet some folks I’d been looking forward to meeting, conspire with my panel to disrupt the conference, laugh at all the people desperately and repeatedly pimping themselves, watch Brian Clark and Mike Monello ask the tough questions, see Alan Tudyk get in an elevator, do guerilla filming in a parking lot, stroll through the streets of downtown Austin covered in fake blood, and have lots of long lunches with chitchat (I think I missed all the keynotes). It was lots of fun, and I am really looking forward to Portland this summer.

You can see my SXSW-tagged pics (few though they might be) on my photostream.

Yes, I have seen both websites. No, I don’t want to comment on either at this time. Yes, I am honestly concerned about being banned for life from SXSWi. The panel’s been taken off the master listing of all talks, but the individual entry is still there if you search by panelist name.

ETA: Apparently Brian Cain has given an interview to the SXSW people about the panel.

You ever have one of those moments where you realize that the events of the next little while will either make you or break you? I think I’m having one of those moments. Hopefully there will be no restraining orders.

Oh and by the way, I would like to commend the local forecasters for saying it would only get into the mid 40s last night. Because that’s why I planted the strawberries. And then ended up zipping out to the garden with a poncho to cover them up when they revised that to the (whoops, heh heh) mid 20s. Sheesh.

The other day my husband called me. He was picking up lunch – some hot dogs from one of Austin’s ubiquitous trailer food stands.

“Lunch is going to be a little late,” he said. “I had to subdue a drunk and take away his keys. Just waiting for the police to get here.”

Apparently when he got to the counter, there was a guy just standing there, not saying anything. Everyone waited. Finally the cashier asked, “Hey buddy, can I get you anything?”

The drunk guy replied, “… Todd.”

At this point everyone knew something was wrong, and the guy started to wander to his car. He got in, proceeded to back up, and was backing towards the proprietor’s auto. Folks just watched him do it. Hub dashed over, reached in, grabbed the keys and made off with them. He said Drunk Guy got out and took a couple of bleary swings at him, but Hub led him over to one of the tables and sat him down, keeping him busy with conversation until the police could get there. Drunk Guy acquiesced easily enough, talking about his business, wife and family.

Eventually the cops came, took Hub’s statement, and the food establishment comped him one lousy order of fries. He came home with our hot dogs, none the worse for wear, thank God.

I wonder why that man was so plastered on a Monday noon.

CAUTION! ZOMBIES! AHEAD!!!

I love living in Austin.

Hub and I went to San Antonio this weekend to see The Dark Knight in Imax. It was my third time seeing it. Hell, I may go see it again. Because it’s just that good.

Anyway, the theater dude announced to the sold out theater to fill in all the seats, yadda yadda. He said that all cell phones needed to be turned off completely – not on vibrate or ringer off – and if they saw the light of a cell phone in the theater, they’d boot ya.

Guy behind us: Did he just say no cell phones on vibrate?
Hub: Yeah, if they see your phone out, they’ll kick you out.
Guy behind us: What is he, some kind of COMMIE FASCIST??
Guy’s friend: I bet he’s an Obama supporter!!

You just don’t have conversations like that in Travis County.