Archive for February, 2004


February 27, 2004 - 5:21 pm 1 Comment

From today’s Sun newspaper:

Pet spider kills its owner

A MAN who lived in his own “zoo” of lizards and insects was fatally bitten by a pet black widow spider — then eaten by the other creepy-crawlies.

Police broke in to Mark Voegel’s apartment to find spider Bettina along with 200 others, several snakes, a gecko lizard called Helmut and several thousand termites had gorged on his body.

Neighbours alerted police after becoming alarmed by the stink.

And horrified officers were met by a nightmare scene.

A police spokesman said: “It was like a horror movie. His corpse was over the sofa.

“Giant webs draped him, spiders were all over him. They were coming out of his nose and his mouth.

“There was everything there one could imagine in the world of reptiles.

“Larger pieces of flesh torn off by the lizards were scooped up and taken back to the webs of tarantulas and other bird-eating spiders.”

Loner Voegel, 30, never invited people back to his “jungle” home, a small apartment in the German city of Dortmund.

Police described it as a cross between a botanical garden and the butterfly breeding ground in the serial killer movie The Silence Of The Lambs.

One tarantula had built a nest the size of a swallow’s in a corner of the ceiling.

Voegel also had a boa constrictor and several poisonous frogs from South America.

Spider expert and animal cruelty officer Gabi Bayer said he kept creatures “that should never be allowed in a private home”.

She said: “He had spiders so aggressive they are the equivalent of a pit-bull in the animal world.”

The reptiles were allowed to roam free in the flat.

The heating elements on two tanks containing spiders and their termite snacks had exploded and dislodged the metal tops allowing them to escape.

Voegel is thought to have been dead for between seven and 14 days.

A post-mortem will be carried out in the next few days. But authorities believe Bettina alone was responsible for Voegel’s death.

Slow on the uptake

February 26, 2004 - 1:34 am 2 Comments

I’m pretty sure that was him at the mall the other night, but not 100% sure. It was just a brief encounter; a passing by in a department store. Not enough time for me to kick him in the nuts and tell him he’s an asshole, like I’ve been wanting to do for the last 10 years. Next time I’ll be quicker.

A little romance

February 11, 2004 - 5:50 pm 8 Comments

For Valentine’s Day, hub and I are going shooting. Then the next day we’re going to get up at 6 o’freaking clock in the A. of M. and go take our concealed handgun class together. This, laddies and ladies, is real romance and don’t you forget it.

Kid #1 got her shots last week so we can put her into preschool and they made her feel bloody awful. She had a 103 fever for a few days and was generally miserable. She and kid #2 have been thumping each other at least once hourly, then they both come to tattle on the other. hub has decreed that in the event of any tattling, they’re both getting sent to their rooms, tattler and tattlee. This has cut down on the tattling, but not the thumping. It wouldn’t be so bad except for the occasional wails of pain.

It’s cold. And rainy. And rainy and cold. Rainy, too. Hub and I almost talked ourselves into going to Las Vegas this weekend but I had an attack of acute sanity at the last minute (seriously, I mean we were just about to book a flight) and nixed the idea. It was insane, is what it was. Not saying I don’t want to go, but I think it needs more than 2 days of planning.

Been pretty boring around here. Next weekend we’re going to the rodeo. Woo!


February 5, 2004 - 6:01 pm Comments Off on Thwarted

I thought I’d make a bajillion dollars by putting in a Google AdSense toolbar on my site. They won’t take me because it’s a personal site, though. Oh well. Perhaps I’ll put in an Amazon thingie.


February 3, 2004 - 3:41 am 1 Comment

I can’t believe this cat refused to eat. She follows me around all day long now, waiting for me to drop food. Someone enters the kitchen and she’s in there too, yowling for sustenance. She used to sit upstairs all day and was completely anti-social. Now I can’t peel her off my lap. That’s twice now that I’ve had cats who encountered near-death experiences who turned into complete and total love sluts after recovering. Apparently the thyroid medication really did a number on her. She’s off it and feeling swell.

Max got out the other night. Around 3 am we were just about to go to sleep and I called the cat. He didn’t come. Couldn’t find him anywhere. I went onto the porch and noticed the screen door was open.

Thus followed 2 hours of intense searching. I went on foot, hub went in the car. We woke up the neighbors across the street. Didn’t break my heart much; they’re the ones who had the dog yap for 5 hours straight one night and ignored the phone and doorbell. They let their dogs out at night and one of them is a biter. He charged me one night when I was about 8 months pregnant and out to check the mail. We ended up calling the police because when hub went to see what was going on, he got charged too. Every time we stepped out the front door we had a large angry barking dog run at us.

So I grabbed a flashlight and started walking around calling the cat. I’m pretty sure one of the neighbors thought I was up to no good, because about 15 minutes after I was back from the dead end down the street, a cop went tearassing down there and was there for about 10 minutes.

Around 5 am I started to think maybe I should get a couple hours of sleep and try again when it got light. I had tried getting Cuervo out to track the cat. Brave and valiant dog tracked the cat a good 15 feet, from the porch to the front steps. Woo. I tried one last time going to the porch and calling, and heard the cat jump onto the steps and brrrrrrrrrt at me. Joyous reunion. I picked him up and he was about 3 pounds heavier than usual. I think he ate all the nice next-door kitty’s food while he was out.

Hub was very nearly in a great deal of trouble for leaving the porch door open, after having accidentally let both Gus (gone for over a week) and Lilly (gone for 48 hours) out in the past. Max saved his bacon by returning.


February 3, 2004 - 3:26 am 1 Comment

I thought chilblains were something only damosels in distress in Victorian novels got. Apparently I was wrong.

My feet always get really really cold in the winter. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Cold feet don’t really bother me that much. Hot feet, I can’t stand. When I was smoking, my feet would do this horrible thing, especially at night, where they would get bright red and get really hot to the touch and burn like hell. I used to have to prop them up higher than my head in order to make it stop. Sometimes I’d just go outside and stand on the sidewalk in freezing weather to cool them off a little. Apparently people can get this condition, called erythromelalgia, so badly that they ice down their feet to the point of frostbite and gangrene. Luckily that never happened to me, and it pretty much went away when I quit smoking.

My dad used to have this thing happen to him in winter called Reynaud’s phenomenon. It was bizarre. His fingers would turn paper white, or sometimes blue, when he got cold. That doesn’t happen to my, but my hands and feet turn into utter popsicles in cold weather. I can assure you that this does not please my husband at all, especially when I place said appendage on him at night. It was an accident. I swear.

Anyway, I guess my feet got too cold. Probably around Thanksgiving when we were in the camper and it was 20 degrees out. A few days after that I noticed bumps on my toes that were kinda itchy. I thought it was bug bites, since that happens when you’re camping. They just never went away. I asked my doctor about them and he was perplexed. They were just on the left foot, coincidentally the same side which was closest to the cold outside of the camper. The doc said something like, “Well that’s odd” and went back to looking at my broken finger.

Want something done, you gotta do it yourself. I searched around the internet and found the description of what happened to me (bumps, red spots, turned blue, itchy, burning, painful as hell) because I thought I had some bizarre variation of athlete’s foot and was honestly pretty embarrassed. Luckily I got some nice, respectable Victorian condition.

The bummer is that I have to keep my feet nice and warm, and I hate warm feet. Oh well.

TiVo recorded Sixteen Candles for me. It was on the Womens’ Entertainment network. The classic line was munged so:

“Ahhhhh, no more yankee rum drinkie. The Donger need food!”

Rum drinkie? Are you serious?

On the plus side, I don’t need surgery on my MCL. Just physical therapy. That’s cool, cause I’ve seen orthopedic surgery on TV, and it totally looks like dissecting chickens. Gross.