Fresh, Hot Wastes of Time

Larry is having a bad day at the office, what with the Farm Sluts email his friend sent him.

Last night we went out for ice cream. I saw two high school girls walking up – I placed them as sophomores or juniors. One girl had on a pair of $140 jeans and a $125 track jacket and was clutching a $500 Louis Vuitton wallet. The other girl kept flaunting her $500 Louis Vuitton Speedy 25. And you know what? I got mad. Really mad. What the hell possessed that girl’s parents to have them buy her all this crap and parade around in $800 dollars worth of clothes and accessories? What kind of values will that instill in her? Is she the one who has one of the Hummers in the high school parking lot?

There were girls at my high school with that particular Louis Vuitton bag, and I always wanted one. My mom refused to buy it, much like she refused to buy me the Polo shirts and $50 Calvin Klein jeans that I asked for. But you know what? As much as I hated it at the time, I’m so thankful that she did. I’m 34 years old and I still want that bag, but I’m too cheap to buy it for myself. Perhaps someday I will, but right now I think I’m pretty happy with my life the way it is now.

I can’t stand rude people. If it were up to me I would round them up and shoot them. Having to smile and put on a nice face in the face of rudeness gives me ulcers. I’m very likely to snap.

SOURDOUGH BUTTER ROLLS

2 cups sourdough starter ( bubbly at room temp )
2 1/2 cups lukewarm milk
4 tbs sugar
4 tbs. melted butter ( or margarine )
1 tbs. salt
about 7 cups flour
1 stick melted butter or margarine to drizzle over unbaked rolls.

Combine starter, milk, melted butter ( 4 tbs ), sugar and salt. Stir in flour, 1 cup at a time until you have a soft, non sticky kneadable dough. Place dough in a buttered bowl and let stand in a warm place
until doubled in bulk.

Remove dough from bowl, knead briefly and gently on lightly floured surface and divide dough into 36 equal pieces. Shape into little balls and place into a 9×12 greased Pyrex dish. Pour a little melted butter or margarine on each roll and bake 350 for 20 to 25 minutes or golden. Serve warm. May be frozen and reheated gently.

Makes 36 soft rolls

The other day I was walking out to the garage and stepped over the bungie cord that my husband left on the stairs, silently cursing him because I could have tripped on it and broken my head. Then the bungie cord slithered into the flowerbed.

Yesterday my husband was cleaning out the garage and (after having found a suspiciously brown recluse-y looking spider) bent over to pick up the bungie cord on the floor and the bungie cord raised its head and flicked its tongue at him.

I hope our bungie cord stays around. He looks like he’s just the right size to take care of the waterbugs.

You know how hard it is to find a shirt with a pink AR-15 on it?

Not anymore!