Fresh, Hot Wastes of Time

OS X users – you must go here now, now, now. Cool hacks that bring back the best features of OSes past.
Tesselating pavers – trip out on your sidewalk.
Sexual calorie counter
Men – having time keeping up with Aunt Flo’s visits? Worry no more.
Japanese traditional underwear – It is put between the cloth wound around the waist first firmly with putting the cloth which a thigh being passed through in the part of the hips.
Where morning breath comes from

Good thing the St. Louis police took care of that horrible teenage boy who was dealing… Pez?

I’m a bit concerned. See, I have this little bump. In my breast. I’ve had a mammogram and an ultrasound and a surgical consult and nobody knows what it is, but they don’t seem very concerned about it. The surgeon told me there’s less than a 5% chance it’s cancer. So I was planning on waiting until the baby weaned and then going in and getting it taken care of.

Except now I have another bump, this one in my ear. There’s been a little bump there for some years, but tonight I noticed that it was much bigger and rather achy. I’m falling apart or something. Maybe it’s just a bug bite. I hope.

I finally got my charm bracelet!

When our first daughter was born, since her due date was mid-October and October’s birthstone is opal, he bought me an opal ring. Which explains why, when I had preterm labor in September, he freaked out. Anyway, when I was pregnant this last time, hub asked me what I wanted as a mommy gift because he couldn’t think of anything. I told him I wanted a gold charm bracelet. Due to all sorts of reasons, we never got around to picking one out until now. He bought it today at James Avery. I’m really grooving on it.

I wanted to add charms for each of my girls and I really wanted some of those Aaron Basha baby shoes, but I had absolutely no idea that they were that pricey. We’re talking $1000 for a charm, people. Criminy.

So now I’m scouring eBay looking for cool charms. I have to be very careful to build this collection slowly so that I’m not out of room on the bracelet in 10 years. This is going to be very hard for me to do since I’m the kind of person who likes to take big bites to enjoy things more, rather than little bites to enjoy them longer.

I already have my justification ready for when I overbuy charms. I have 2 girls, and they’re going to get my jewelry some day, so doesn’t that mean I need 2 charm bracelets?

My husband, God bless him, turned on some wretch of a movie called Vampirella, laid down on the floor, and fell asleep using the ass of a giant stuffed Elmo as a pillow. As I look on the floor in the office, I see Cuervo the hulking Labrador, the hub, and the 9 month old all zonked out. I have to wonder if the floor is more comfortable than it appears, or if perhaps the carpet has some sort of sleep dust imbedded in it. Or maybe it’s that normal people sleep at this hour, while I myself am wide awake due to the 2 hour nap I took at 6 pm. Not the brightest thing I’ve done, to be sure. I am destined for insomnia all night long.

Ever since I was little I have been a night owl. I don’t know if it’s because my mom was, so I picked up her habits, or whether it’s just the way I’m wired. On occasion I’m able to get up early and have a full day and go to sleep at a normal hour – my honeymoon in Costa Rica comes to mind, where we were up every morning at 7 and in bed at midnight. Usually though, if I do wake up early, I still go to bed late.

There’s a hot fudge pudding cake upstairs with my name on it.

Aw hell, everyone else does it, why not me? How compatible are you with me?

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It’s impossible to find good Tex-Mex in Austin. It’s like there’s a great divide between here and San Antonio, which is a little over an hour’s drive to the south, and contains some of the most sublime Tex-Mex known to man. Here, good food at any random Tex-Mex restaurant is the exception, where in San Antonio it’s the rule. Living in the most whitebread section of west Austin takes us even farther away from where the good Tex-Mex restaurants seem to congregate.

I know that there are those of you who are at this very moment crying foul, that Austin has fantastic Tex-Mex and just look at Chuy’s, for example. To this I say: feh. Chuy’s sucks, positively reeks compared to any hole in the wall San Antonio dive. And you can’t get good barbacoa in this town either. Hub and I have to sate our barbacoa cravings when we visit San Antonio or Houston. I’m too much of a gringa to eat the lengua or tripas that he enjoys, though. Just call me Guera.

Strange dream for the day: I had a dream that hub, the 2 year old, and I went to New Orleans. They went out someplace and I had to pee, so I sat on the toilet but something went wrong and it got all over the floor of the bathroom and closet and living area. Hub came back, and I heard him put the key in the door and I yelled for him to wait just a minute but he didn’t, so he saw the huge mess I had made and got angry with me. I got even angrier with him for ignoring me when I told him to wait and it turned into a huge fight.

This is obviously related to the fact that the toilet upstairs overflowed and leaked through the wood plank ceiling into the kitchen yesterday. I’m getting a little bored with the New Orleans dreams, though. I’d like to visit Las Vegas tonight.

Know anyone with a mildly hairy back? Point them to this site where they can feel bald-backed in comparison.
Medical fetish toys. Really.
How does Brundle-fly poop?
How to give off the impression that you might be gay.
The dog died about a year later. I think I would, too, if I were his dog.

Titties and beer.

I had the strangest dream that Hillary Clinton was at the mall wearing jeans and deliberately left them at half mast to call attention to herself. Someone told me it was just an accident, and I insisted it was on purpose and showed just how conniving she could be, because if she left the zipper all the way down someone would be sure to tell her, so she left it halfway down because it would get attention, but if anyone stared too long she could call them a pervert.

I also had a dream that I was friends with Selma Hayek and she set out to kill Nicholae Carpathia through some vampire powers. We were in New Orleans staying on a hotel on top of Antoines, and had something like ten million dollars in cash and a bunch of guns in the hotel room. I called down to the concierge to make us a dinner reservation at 8 for my birthday that evening.

I had a pet buzzard in the room named Bobby that my two year old pulled off his wings and killed. We’d been feeding him dog food and trash. He smelled but I loved him.

We had to stash the cash and guns because we were going down to dinner, so hub put it behind an armoire and piled pillows on the sides. I grabbed two huge wads of cash and stuffed them in either side of my bra. Out the window we saw Carpathia and we barely missed seeing him in the restaurant. We ended up calling an uneasy truce with him after he killed Selma’s vampire friend.

Then the war between good and evil was over and we went to church, where the people were acting like nothing happened.

I really need to stop reading those silly Left Behind books before bed.