Irregular Inanity
Irregular Inanity (Second Edition)
1. You’re at a restaurant with a friend, and he is in the restroom when the food arrives. There are french fries on his plate (or something else that you like). Do you take some before he comes back? If so, do you tell him?
Of course I take some. I’m always on the prowl for the perfect French fry (much like Carrie Bradshaw). And I will let said friend know if the fried are worth eating or not.
2. That "I’ll have what she’s having" line from When Harry Met Sally: Inspired or tired? Sublime or asinine?
Tired, not to mention asinine. It always makes me uncomfortable. Us Southerners are raised not to cause a fuss in public.
3. You break it, you buy it? – or – You break it, you run away?
Depends on how much it costs – if it’s a $0.99 barrette from Walmart, run away. If it’s a $99 vase from Poverty Barn, own up.
4. Which sucks the most: emptying the dishwasher; putting away the groceries; folding the laundry?
They all suck, but folding laundry the most. Unless it’s towels, or a really cold day and I can dive into the warm fresh smelling pile of clean clothes.
5. Anna Nicole Smith: "I still say the overinflated harlot has a pretty face" or "Face?"
She still has a pretty face when she takes the eighty-eleven layers of makeup on. All that crap makes her look older than Tammy Faye.
6. You wake up before your "significant other" and see that the dog/cat/baby did his "business" in the middle of the living room floor. Do you sneak back into bed and pretend you didn’t see it, knowing that your S.O. will be up in five minutes and thus take care of it?
Oh yah, youbetcha, do it all the damn time.
7. Jan or Marcia?
Marcia. Hate whiners.
8. Cake: Eat with your hands or with a fork? (And don’t tell me you don’t eat cake, or I’ll have to toss you in a windowless, dank basement along with the people who say they don’t ever watch TV.)
Fingers are preferred, but sometimes one must eat with a fork. It would probably look bad to go to town with my fingers on a piece of Chocolate Intemperance from Jeffrey’s.
9. Name one article of clothing that you cannot live without and one you wouldn’t be caught dead wearing.
I can’t live without satin boxer shorts to sleep in. They keep the sheets from bunching up underneath me when I turn over. There are too many items to name that I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing – like bellbottoms (or even bootcut jeans, if I’m not actually wearing boots). I’m such an 80s weenie.
10. Caffeine: friend or foe?
Caffeine good.
11. Raisin Bran as a snack: Eat whatever comes out of the box, or root around for more raisins?
Probably whatever comes out of the box.
12. What’s the best thing you’ve ever stolen from work? (If you think you’ve never taken anything, then where the hell did you get that nice Razorpoint pen with the company logo that you keep in the kitchen junk drawer?)
I inadvertently stole a magnetic car sign from my last work. Since hub and I own our own business now, it’s a moot point.