Here’s how to get the heebie jeebies.

First, get the mentally handicapped neighbor girl up on her roof about dusk, screaming at the top of her lungs for help and that she doesn’t want to die. Have your husband go to the roof with possibly unstable girl to calm her down.

Then after everything’s all settled, have the wind blow stuff around on your doorstep.

Nothing like a volley of good bloodcurdling shrieks to get the willies in full flow.

Oh, for extra credit, ponder why the mentally handicapped girl is continually left home alone by her parents when they jet off to Las Vegas. She may be 25, but she obviously does not need to be on her own. Last month she busted into my next door neighbor’s party to complain there were cars parked on the street.

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