Fresh, Hot Wastes of Time

That maybe was a little mean. Here, look at this picture. Really, I promise, it’s safe. Cross my heart.

They’re mine. Aren’t they cute?

About that black widow thing. The day we left, the one in the cow skull on the table outside on the patio had had babies. There were literally hundreds of baby black widow spiders scuttling around in the skull.

And we didn’t just see one scorpion in the house – there was the (giant) one in the bedroom, then a tiny little baby one in the light fixture in one bathroom and another teeny little one in the bathtub in another bathroom. This one was the one who crawled out of the sink overflow on our last visit when hub was washing his face.

Nitey night – oh, and sweet dreams.

This is September. September is still considered in the summer season, at least until the 21st. Summer means hot. It means school starts and football season starts and Labor Day and the last swims in the lake. It is not even a little bit cold in September. Sometimes there are hurricanes, which show up in the summer seasons. Daylight savings time is in effect, and it stays light until 8:30 PM and you have to go out and water the yard and fight off the mosquitoes and wave howdy to your neighbors who walk by in their shorts and t-shirts.

September (at least the first 75% of it) is not even fall yet. Trees do not turn colors in September. Grass still grows fast, cicadas still screech at night, lightning bugs fly at dusk, kids play in the back yard and sell lemonade on weekends.

I feel compelled to mention this because inside of Michael’s craft shop, it is full-on Christmas time. They have out the Christmas decorations, they’re playing Christmas music, they even have out the Christmas-scented pot pourri.

Christmas is over 25% of the year away. Christmas is two seasons away. Christmas is a blasphemy when it’s 100 degrees outside and school just started and we haven’t even had Halloween yet, for fuck’s sake.

I love Christmas because it is special. It comes once a year, when it’s nice and cool out and gets dark early and there are corny songs on the radio but it’s ok because you know all the words and you don’t mind singing along. When you start Christmas over three months before the actual holiday, it is no longer special. It is passe. It is boring, and it will be crusty and smelly and old by the time December 25th actually gets here.

Haven’t had much to say lately. Last Thursday we went to Houston, dropped off the kids, drove 4 hours to south Texas Friday, stayed until Monday, went back to Houston, left back for Austin on Tuesday, then back to Houston for the baby’s first birthday yesterday, then back to Austin today. The kids are in Houston again because I have my surgery on Tuesday. We’re probably going to pick them on on Thursday or so.

I finished the baby’s quilt, started on an applique quilt, and I’m taking a quilting class starting next Sunday. Then the next weekend is opening weekend for doves at the ranch. I just want to say I’m exhausted already. I’m actually looking forward to the time after the surgery so I’ll be able to catch up on sleep. How sad is that?

Is it just me, or does the American Idol single sound a lot like John Ashcroft’s “Let the Eagle Soar” song?

A beheaded body can take 32 steps, in case you were curious.
eBay spoof from one of those wacky politian guys.
One should not weightlift with one’s penis.
These games are amazing and provided hours of intelligent entertainment for me back in the early 90’s.

We spent this weekend at the ranch, doing general ranchy stuff like drinking (good lord, we played quarters, even – haven’t done that in 10 years), taking rides (one night we got very close to an alligator that was swimming in a tank), shooting lots of guns, fishing, eating good food, and basically unwinding.

We did have a couple of uninvited guests, though. This young lady was out on the sleeping porch, and had a relative on the back porch as well as one in the cow skull on the patio. We let her live until just before we left on Monday, when we went round and sprayed them all. Beautiful and deadly.

This strapping girl was above the woodpile and had a nightly feast of grasshoppers and crickets. Her body length alone is about 1.5 inches – adding her legs into that, she’s bigger than your palm. We left her in peace, since she’s non-toxic and eats lots of bugs. She had a smaller friend on the air conditioner nearby.

There was also a scorpion scuttering around on the bedroom wall which I calmly whacked with a shoe but neglected to photograph. On our way out, we saw a yellowjacket nest that was probably at least 6 inches tall on the side of the house. We didn’t see any rattlesnakes this time, though.

Y’all city wussies don’t know what you’re missing.

We’ve been out of town for a few days, hence the lack of updates. Right now I’m blogging from my Palm, which takes forever, so I won’t have much to say. I do have a couple of really cool pictures to post when we get home.