Archive for October, 2002

Well that’s disconcerting

October 7, 2002 - 12:13 am 7 Comments

Last night I went to pee and when I was just about to flush the pottie I noticed that the toilet paper wad that was floating around had two very long and hairy and black evil looking bug legs emerging from around the underneath of it. It was either a big spider or one of those giant black stink bugs.

I am not one to call someone in to inspect what I’ve produced in the pottie, but I shrieked for hub to come see, at which point the legs disappeared and it looked like I was just very proud of making a tinkle.

What I’m most concerned about it where it came from. Hub’s convinced that I have bugs in my crotch. I just don’t think so.

Schtuff

October 5, 2002 - 1:41 pm 1 Comment

Bookworm, the game.
Chicago requires firms vying for city contracts to disclose if they have ever profited from slavery.
When life gives you cat skulls, make an auction out of it.
The newest member of the Blue Man Group? No, just a man who’s running for Senate.
Ladies, meet Mr. Razor. Mr. Razor, this is Hairzilla and Flabula.
Name which movie the computer screen came from.

Letter to an asshole

October 2, 2002 - 2:43 am 2 Comments

Dear asshole,

That number that you keep calling? It’s our home phone number, not a fax number. Here at our home, it’s almost three in the morning. You, calling with your stinking junk fax at this hour, can go straight to hell. Asshole.

P.S. Junk faxes are illegal, asshole.

(I bit the very tip of my tongue straight off while eating dinner earlier.)

Suck

October 1, 2002 - 6:35 pm 2 Comments

Going back for more surgery next Wednesday to clean this crap up.

Insert clever pun here

October 1, 2002 - 2:15 am 5 Comments

Busted. They got it licked. What a bunch of boobs. Good thing they nipped it in the bud. And so on.

Ouch

October 1, 2002 - 2:05 am 8 Comments

Ouch. Poor clothespin man.
Ouch. Poor kitty.
Ouch. Poor headlice.
Ouch. Poor kangaroo.
Ouch. Poor Leslie Nielson.

I’d like to register a breast complaint

October 1, 2002 - 1:12 am 4 Comments

I’m three weeks post-op today, and still in a good deal of pain. It comes and goes; right now it’s pretty bad and the pain pills aren’t even taking the edge off. I don’t want to be on these damned pills forever, or even very much longer because they’re addictive and who the hell needs that? The whole bottom of my boob is like hamburger and at this point I’m just hoping that I’ll have something left after all this is over. Apparently the reduction basically killed the blood flow there, so it’s not healing right, so the tissue is dying and there’s also a great big dent.

It will be ironic if I end up having to have an implant after having had the reduction. This sucks.