Fresh, Hot Wastes of Time

The fun part of kids who have gas is that they tend to poot uncontrollably when you tickle them, which makes them laugh harder.

The only drawback is the odor.

The 3 year old woke up this morning crying for a glass of water. She’s had a tummy bug for a few days so we’re really nervous about dehydration, especially since hub’s recent trip to the hospital. So hub takes her downstairs to get a glass of water, then runs up to brush his teeth and whatnot. When he goes back down, he finds her lying on the kitchen floor, limp and moaning. She was utterly lethargic and her eyes kept rolling back in her head, and her cheeks were bright red.

Freak out.

Rush her to the doctor who says that she’s just tired from being sick. She took something like 5 hours of nap today and seems to be a little better, although we scrapped our out of town plans for the weekend.

Anyone get migraines? I’ve had one for the last 2 days and I’m losing my mind. My doc gave me a sample of Imitrex the other day and it did nothing for me except make my nose run and give me the worst nasty ass-butt taste in the back of my mouth. I can deal with the Midrin, but it makes me soooooooooooo looooooooooooopy. Whee!

The one year old woke up with the most enormous bedhead I have ever seen in my whole entire life. She looked something like this, only with less facial hair and wrinkles.

My sleep schedule’s all awry since I joined 3 year old for a nap this afternoon. She and I slept in the big bed, and she refused to cuddle with me, the little twerp. Then when it was time for another nap, she went up and slept in our bed by herself, wanting nothing to do with her own bed. This is frightening because in the past 2 weeks we’ve had to do 2 emergency sheet changes on her bed due to various leaking bodily functions.

Luckily, our bed seems to be (mostly) unsullied. I think it’s high time I climbed into it.

to…

Men I find oddly attractive:

John Malkovich
Gary Oldman
Willem Dafoe
James Gandolfini
Joaquin Phoenix
Ben Stiller
Donald Sutherland

What about Scientology?
Chilling Effects, the internet Cease and Desist Clearinghouse.
This guy carves sculptures out of pencil lead without benefit of even a magnifying glass.
Medical establishment finally decides that the Atkins Diet might not be so bad after all.
Sounds of the world’s animals.
You’ve probably seen it before, but Simon Swears. Not safe for work.
Just ended on eBay: WWII RARE ANAL BRIEFCASE, a.k.a. “I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass two years.”
Can anyone explain what Michael Jackson, Rosie O’Donnell, and Tom Cruise are doing?
Mean and nasty ingredients to do mean and nasty things to people.
Been putting off that mammogram? Do it online!
How they vote in Iraq.
What do you get for that girl on your list who has everything? Possum fur nipple warmers, of course.

I’m so completely unmotivated to do anything right now. I’m too apathetic to watch a movie. I wanted to watch Harry Potter since it’s on HBO InDemand but the 2.5 hour time commitment is daunting.

Those children of mine got me sick. I don’t even have the inclination to play a damned computer game that requires any special thinking, even though I haven’t cracked open Icewind Dale 2 and Sims Unleashed. The only thing that excites me at this point is that hub went to Amy’s to get sundaes.

Go play JT’s Blocks. It’s fun.

I had a client call today needing help and I was able to solve his problems over the phone, thus saving him money and saving myself a trip over there. He just left a message on voicemail extolling my praises and calling me a genius. I love that.

– Quit wearing my heart on my sleeve
– Quit sweating the small stuff
– Eat lots of chocolate

Both the kids have fever and runny noses. The little one has slept about all day long, and the small amount of time she hasn’t been asleep she’s been clinging closer to me than Saran Wrap ever dream possible. They were supposed to go visit their grandmother tomorrow, but I dunno if that’s going to happen. If I don’t get a little Mommy time soon, I’m going to haul out a pair of pliers and a blowtorch. No, really, I honestly and truly do not want to see The Wizard of Oz for the 1497th time this week.

Good grief, I hope the baby sleeps tonight.

You know what would be ideal? Chocolate beer. That way it’s two goodnesses in one. Scuse me, I think I need to go mainline Hershey’s syrup.

Which book is it where “Busy, busy, busy” is a code phrase for something? It’s either Tom Robbins or Kurt Vonnegut. Anyway, it’s true here.

Last Friday, my friend and her baby came over to play and have dinner. Then M.S. came in with her friend to spend the night and get tattoos. And yes, they are huge – but pretty. I personally don’t get the concept of tattoos, but I do have pierced ears so I guess permanent body modifications (other than the yards of stretch marks pregnancy gives you) aren’t beyond my ken.

Sunday we recovered, then Monday I went to San Antonio for the day to run some errands with my brother. Tuesday was Wound Care Day, then Wednesday my friend came back over with her baby and we hung out all day. My year-old was totally unruly and screamy all day, and after noticing the drool and finger chewing I noticed that she was cutting a molar and her gum was really inflamed and bleeding on top of it, so we’ve fed her some Motrin and today it’s like we have a whole new baby.

Tomorrow my nephew comes to spend the weekend, then next week we’re going to take the kids to visit their grandparents, then next weekend we go to the ranch, then back home, then to Houston for Thanksgiving, then back down to the ranch again.

Thank goodness we never bothered to take down the Christmas lights on the trees last year.

The three year old is officially a Krispy Kreme addict. She’s had three doughnuts since dinner and is begging for more. Also, today she decided that she’d rather watch Gone With the Wind than The Wizard of Oz. Not the best movie choice, I guess, since she was confused at the point where Scarlett shot the bad Yankee man, but I digress.

I got three packages today in the mail. I love eBay.