I want to go on a holiday baking binge. I want to make a pumpkin pie, spice cookies, sugar cookies, gingerbread, whiskey balls… perhaps a turkey too. Other people tire of holiday food, and I do not. The holidays are the best time to eat.
When I was a kid, we went through a succession of housekeepers. My mother told me that when I was about 3, she walked in to find the current one lying on the couch, smoking pot and having me run food to her from the kitchen. After a time, we settled on one woman who called herself V.L. As in “Vee Ell”.
V.L. chewed tobacco, and for many years she used to spit it into our washing machine during the rinse cycle. As a child, I constantly had odd-smelling, yellow-tinted whites. She was a haphazard cleaner with a tendency to sweep stuff under the rug rather than pick it up. She called everyone “honey”. A garrulous sort, she could corner you (she had little regard for personal space) and talk at you for quite some time.
My friend and I used to run to my house for lunch during senior year in high school. We’d open the front door, hear the faint whine of the washing machine, look at each other panic-stricken and simultaneously say “Oh, shit. It’s V.L. day!”
When I started dating a guy during that same year, V.L. set up a little shrine to him, with a framed picture and some candles. She called him my “sugar daddy”.
Once she told me that she needed to teach me how to iron, because I “ain’t ever gonna learn it from mama”. Once I overheard her muttering to herself – a very common circumstance, but this time she was saying that she was “workin’ for a family of pigs”.
Yet under all this was a heart of gold. One time, just out of the blue, she brought me a quilt that she had made for me. It was a nine-patch, all made of polyester doubleknit. Mom refused to fire her (most likely because Mom was a total wussy and wasn’t up to the confrontation) even after the “pigs” occasion. I think V.L. worked for our family until the day my dad died.
He remembered her in his will, but being the sort of person who liked to see peoples’ reactions when given a gift, he gave her her inheritance while he was still alive. After his death, our lawyer sent her a form, asking her please to sign it to waive further claims against the estate. She hired herself a lawyer of her own and sent back a furious letter wondering why we thought she was trying to rob Dad.
She died in 1998, at the ripe age of 84. I think about her surprisingly often. She was a real character, but I hate the thought that she spent 6 years thinking that we thought of her as a thief. She was not one.
I like movies that screw with your mind. Brazil, Closetland, Jacob’s Ladder, The Ring. I’ve seen a list of like movies and was wondering if any of them are worth it:
Vanilla Sky
Donnie Darko
13th Floor
The Game
Anyone seen these? Any good? If you want to play with your mind, what movie do you pick up? I said mind, people.
to… 
Men I find oddly attractive:
John Malkovich
Gary Oldman
Willem Dafoe
James Gandolfini
Joaquin Phoenix
Ben Stiller
Donald Sutherland
I’m so completely unmotivated to do anything right now. I’m too apathetic to watch a movie. I wanted to watch Harry Potter since it’s on HBO InDemand but the 2.5 hour time commitment is daunting.
Those children of mine got me sick. I don’t even have the inclination to play a damned computer game that requires any special thinking, even though I haven’t cracked open Icewind Dale 2 and Sims Unleashed. The only thing that excites me at this point is that hub went to Amy’s to get sundaes.
Go play JT’s Blocks. It’s fun.
I had a client call today needing help and I was able to solve his problems over the phone, thus saving him money and saving myself a trip over there. He just left a message on voicemail extolling my praises and calling me a genius. I love that.
Which book is it where “Busy, busy, busy” is a code phrase for something? It’s either Tom Robbins or Kurt Vonnegut. Anyway, it’s true here.
Last Friday, my friend and her baby came over to play and have dinner. Then M.S. came in with her friend to spend the night and get tattoos. And yes, they are huge – but pretty. I personally don’t get the concept of tattoos, but I do have pierced ears so I guess permanent body modifications (other than the yards of stretch marks pregnancy gives you) aren’t beyond my ken.
Sunday we recovered, then Monday I went to San Antonio for the day to run some errands with my brother. Tuesday was Wound Care Day, then Wednesday my friend came back over with her baby and we hung out all day. My year-old was totally unruly and screamy all day, and after noticing the drool and finger chewing I noticed that she was cutting a molar and her gum was really inflamed and bleeding on top of it, so we’ve fed her some Motrin and today it’s like we have a whole new baby.
Tomorrow my nephew comes to spend the weekend, then next week we’re going to take the kids to visit their grandparents, then next weekend we go to the ranch, then back home, then to Houston for Thanksgiving, then back down to the ranch again.
Thank goodness we never bothered to take down the Christmas lights on the trees last year.
The three year old is officially a Krispy Kreme addict. She’s had three doughnuts since dinner and is begging for more. Also, today she decided that she’d rather watch Gone With the Wind than The Wizard of Oz. Not the best movie choice, I guess, since she was confused at the point where Scarlett shot the bad Yankee man, but I digress.
I got three packages today in the mail. I love eBay.
My 14 year old nephew is coming to visit this weekend. Our guest room is detached from the main house, over the garage. My idea was to show him The Ring, then wait until he goes to bed and sneak up and zap on the TV playing the cursed video. But then I decided I didn’t want to clean up pee from the carpet, or have to deal with my brother bitching at me that his son hasn’t slept in 6 weeks.
Bet it’d be really funny though. Heh.