Fresh, Hot Wastes of Time

The sole, petty reason for this post is to piss off my brother because I’m up late.

I was going through some old boxes and found my mother’s poll tax receipts from 1958-1966. The poll tax was outlawed in 1966.

I also found:

– a picture painted by my great-great-great aunt in 1938 for my mother
– a whole bunch of my riflery and archery targets and patches and medals from camp
– a newspaper article about a relative who went to jail
– a letter from my big brother to me when I went to camp (I’m still waiting for that Astroworld trip I was promised…)
– a bunch of dim pictures of unidentifiable landscape (pitched)
– letters from my grandfather to his parents while he was a cadet at West Point
– my mother’s confirmation certificate
– all my report cards and standardized test results

I started this project to toss out trash, but it’s taking me hours to go through the boxes. All the letters written to and from camp for the 7 years I went there, for example – fascinating. I got 2 letters in 1981, one from my great-aunt and one from my mom, about how fascinating the royal wedding was between Charles and Diana. My mom recorded it for me. On betamax. I still have it somewhere.

1.)  republican 8   7%
 2.)  democrat 11   10%
 3.)  libertarian 9    8%
 4.)  guns are groovy 13   12%
 5.)  guns are evil 12   11%
 6.)  christian 9   8%
 7.)  non-christian 15   14%
 8.)  love kids 19   18%
 9.)  dislike kids 11   10%

I am still feeling singularly terrible. I’ve had a pounding headache and nausea for days now, along with lethargy and boobal pain. I started feeling miserable after my surgery. I really hope I didn’t get one of those nasty hospital infections that doesn’t respond to any antibiotics. I read a story earlier about a woman who almost died from a papercut.

I’ve been curled up in bed with a bottle of Pepto and a bottle full of ibuprofin and I still feel really awful.

It doesn’t help that the almost-3-y.o. has now developed roseola. Luckily the high fever part and (most of the) bitchiness are gone, but she’s still not feeling 100% either and she’s covered in spots. Hub’s tired of everyone being sick and he hollers at everyone regularly. The only one in the house who’s been nice to be around lately has been the little one, who is impossibly cute and sweet.

Today’s my five year anniversary of not smoking. I’ve saved over $6000 and not smoked 45,000 cigarettes.

After much debate we’ve decided not to go to the ranch this weekend. I’m pretty bummed about it, because I miss my family a bunch, but I’m still in pain after my surgery last week. On top of that we’ve got the kids not sleeping well and the tummy bug thing. I’m not feeling well at all right now, bleh.

Oh, here’s the quilt I just finished. I have a picture here of the top of the last one I made, before quilting and finishing it. I’m working on a king sized one for our bed now, in this pattern. The colors I’m using are more fall toned though – greens, rusts, browns, turquoise, gold, etc. I’m also making an applique quilt. Right now I’ve gotten the first 2 blocks completely done and am halfway through the third.

Ugh, think it’s time to curl up in bed for about 15 hours.

In my case, I’m up reeeeeeally damned late. Bad craziness. First I lost track of time while piecing a quilt. 3 am came and went, and I decided I’d better go to bed. I snuck past the 2 y.o.’s door, and she promptly sproinged up in bed like a deranged jack in the box, so I had to run in there and tell her to go to sleep and tuck her in. She’s been nervous around me since she saw the incision and bruising. She doesn’t want me to get close to her. Perhaps she thinks it’s catching.

I paged down to hub and apprised him of the situation, so he snuck up with the 1 y.o., who was (surprise surprise) wide freaking awake. I try to nurse her down; she wants to do gymnastics. I go to rock her to sleep; she’s doing the Cabbage Patch. I decide to spirit her downstairs (stealthily closing the 2 y.o.’s door on the way down, yay) where she can be loud and play herself to sleep, I hope, I hope, I hope. And soon, please. Right now she’s poking me with the booger sucker. This does not bode well for going to sleep while it’s still dark outside.

I started a quilting class today with my friend AM. It was quickly decided that I should ride the short bus to quilt school, since if there was anything at all I could have done wrong, I did it. Although everyone was teasing me for taking a beginning quiltmaking class after having made 2 quilts, I really have learned stuff that you can’t get out of books. I got so inspired that I made 45 half-square triangles when I got home. This sounds like a lot until I mention that I need 288 for a king sized quilt.

I’m in a fairly annoying amount of pain from my breastal area, which seems to have sprung a leak. I’m supposed to call my surgeon first thing this morning. Hm, I may actually still be up in 2 hours. Oh lord I hope not.

You know, tonight I watched the National Geographic show about the search for the Afghan girl whose face was such an icon when it appeared on the cover of a magazine in the mid 80s. They found her again, living near Tora Bora, and she came into Pashewar to be photographed again (only with the permission of the town elders and her husband could she show her face). I realized that she and I are the same age. Her biggest concern today was whether she’d be able to find clean water and food for her children. My day’s agenda includes fixing the ice dispenser on the refrigerator and straightening up the house a little before the cleaner comes.

It’s a small world. It’s a huge world. And even though I’ve gotten no sleep, I count more blessings than I can name.

Here’s one I wrote when I was 11 –

Nobody Can

Deep in a strange land,
Hidden by mist,
The Land of Nobody Can,
And Nobody Will,
I witness a man thinking
As Nobody Can,
And Nobody Will.
Thinking about
Thinking about
How Nobody Can
And Nobody Will,
And there I stand, glued
To the spot,
As Nobody Can,
And Nobody Will.

Last night I had a dream that M.S. and I lived together and we needed to move out by midnight, and she was trying to make me move all my stuff and her stuff too, and then I had to clean. I also had a dream that hub told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. This morning I told him about the dreams and he urged me to seek therapy.

I had another dream about M.S. the other night that I forgot to tell her – she and her kids were coming to visit and I was getting the guest house ready for them but it was full of wasps, and as soon as I got rid of one, another one would show up.

Speaking of M.S., she sent me a get well present from my wishlist – the complete Schoolhouse Rock on DVD. What a sweetie. The 2 y.o. and I are loving it!

Just because I put a sock on the phone doesn’t mean I’m going crazy. Sure, I don’t know why I did it, or even remember doing it, but it was probably to see if it would charge better. I think.

And no, I don’t know why I got all of the coke 12 packs out of the pantry and stacked them on the counter either. Why all these damned questions?