Fresh, Hot Wastes of Time

ActIII. Scene IV: *We are sitting in Starbucks drinking some wonderful coffee (or drink of your choice) catching up on us, the world, the news, and everyone else’s business.* Fill in your blanks on your blog or in the comments. *Quiet on the set!* ACTION!

Me: I can’t believe it has been a week since we have chatted! I am so glad Bob would watch the kids so I could come and have some down time! Speaking of kids, can you believe the news lately? I am shocked by the abductions and crimes against children that we are seeing lately. What do you think about them?
You: They just sicken me. Of course we as parents have to teach our kids to be careful of strangers, but now we have to take it to such extremes that I wonder if we’re going to end up raising a totally cynical, non-trusting generation. Even cops and priests can’t always be trusted. When I was a kid I had an uneasy experience with a fireman (nothing bad happened, but he gave a friend and me really bad creeps, and we were only 9). Who can we, or our kids, trust anymore?
Me: It has really had an effect on me. I won’t let my two kids out in our front yard anymore without me right there. I used to let them out in the front yard while I did chores in the house like we did when I was a kid. Not any more. They can only go out in our fenced backyard. I also am double checking the locks on our privacy fence in the back. Do you think parents have to be extra cautious these days? How far would you go to be cautious in this day and age?
You: Very cautious. Mine are too young to play outside by themselves, but the older one is getting there. I think I’d only let her out in the fenced backyard while the dog’s out there to bark at strangers. As she gets old enough, I might let her ride a bike up and down our street, since it’s dead end, but I can’t imagine letting her ride over to a friend’s house across the neighborhood like I did when I was a kid. Is it that streets have gotten busier or that I’ve gotten more cautious? Probably the latter.

Me: I can’t imagine what would drive a person to molest a five-year old. This sickens me to no end. What should we do to that type of criminal?
You: Well, back in the 80s there was a big flap over using depo-provera on rapists to take away their sex drive. I think that’s an excellent idea, although there were a bunch of people crying that it was cruel and unusual punishment. Why do criminals expect to be treated well? I think they should be treated as their victims were. There’s a scene in a Heinlein book where someone was stuck in a traffic jam because a criminal was receiving his sentence – he had been a hit and run driver, so he was put in the street, hit with the same type of car, and then had to wait the same amount of time that the victim did for medical help. Harsh? Sure. Deterrent? You bet.

Me: I heard the suspect in Samantha Runnion’s case was arrested on Monday. His mother spoke out on several news shows saying she had no idea he would be capable of something such as that but was preparing herself for the worst. What would you do if you found out someone close to you (relative, spouse, neighbor) was a child molester? How would you feel?
You: I think it’s impossible to predict my response. Pity, repulsion, fear, anger, hatred all come to mind. I’m afraid if we found out that a neighbor had been molesting one of our kids, my husband would take matters into his own hands. Not to perpetuate the Southern stereotype, but he’s hot-tempered and heavily armed.

Me: Oh by the way, did you catch the season premiere of Sex In The City? I Totally missed it! What happened (if you did see it)?!?
You: It was pretty good, although like everyone else I’m getting tired of Carrie whining about being single. They chopped out the twin towers from the opening shot without addressing 9/11, which kind of ticked me off. On the plus side they showed a realistic and natural view of breastfeeding, and I was rolling on the floor laughing when Brady’s bellybutton fell off and the cat got it and Miranda was totally grossed out.

Me: I have got to pee from all that coffee! You gotta go too or are you gonna hang here at the table?
You: Usually coffee makes me have to… well, nevermind.

Me: *After returning from the bathroom* Whew! Much better! What should we do now?
You: Let’s run next door to Barnes and Noble and shop for books!

I went to my gym orientation today and oh. my. gosh. the personal trainer was just cute as a little puppy dog. I swear if he had a tail, he’d wag it. I just wanted to pinch his cheeks, especially after he told me that I don’t look 32. I wasn’t hot for him or anything, just wanted to pat him on the head.

Then he called me “ma’am”. And he mentioned that he wasn’t even 21 yet.

WTF was I thinking? I mean honestly, pinch his cheeks? Am I really getting to be that old? Jeez, I was just his age when I moved to this burg, and now I feel this huge age gap.

It doesn’t help that I just read a Good Housekeeping article that said peri-menopause (a.k.a. The Change) can start as soon as 37.

Shit.

I was eating a Krispy Kreme donut once and it was the glazed kind and little pieces of the glaze kept falling off. I picked up a little piece of glaze from my keyboard and ate it, only it wasn’t a little piece of glaze, it was a a little piece of fluff.

Now I pay attention to what I eat.

Regarding the “Aw man, I was looking for some videos for me and my dog” quote a couple of entries ago… that really happened.

I was at Pleasureland with a (female) friend. We were just there to gawk and giggle. Some guy walked in with a dog on a leash. The clerk told him he’d have to take his dog outside, and that’s when the famous line was spoken.

I laughed so hard that I very nearly wet myself. One of those times that you can’t even take a breath and start sounding like a strangled chicken and tears and snot are running down your face.

Now the hell of it is that I can’t remember who I was with. I thought it was M.S., but she didn’t comment on the quote, so now I’m thinking it wasn’t her. Was it A.W.? J.B.? I just don’t know.

The 10 month old has found some sort of unlimited source of black grease somewhere near my desk. Perhaps it’s in the slides for the keyboard drawer. She goops up her fingers and then slimes them all over my desk, mouse, clothes, chair, legs, carpet, and dog. The two year old has taken to telling everyone, “I love you, Smelly!”

My life is an episode of The Simpsons.

1. Where were you born? San Antonio, Texas.
2. If you still live there, where would you rather move to? If you don’t live there, do you want to move back? Why or why not? I live just up the road in Austin, about an hour’s drive. I used to miss S.A. horribly but over the years have come to think of Austin as my home town. I had always planned on moving back to San Antonio but after I got married, we decided to stay here. I guess I wouldn’t really mind moving back, but it’s not something I really want to do anymore.
3. Where in the world do you feel the safest? In bed under the covers with my lamp on, reading a good book, while there’s a raging thunderstorm outside.
4. Do you feel you are well-traveled? Compared to some, yes. I’ve been to England twice and got married in Costa Rica. I’ve also been to Arizona (visiting family), Arkansas (driving through), California (Disneyland!), Colorado (family), Connecticut (friends), Delaware (driving through), Hawaii (vacation), Illinois (vacation), Kansas (family), Kentucky (driving), Louisiana (vacation), Maryland (driving/visiting), Massachusetts (friends), Michigan (friends), Mississippi (driving), Nevada (vacation), New Jersey (friends), New Mexico (driving), New York (friends), North Carolina (Dead show), Ohio (driving), Pennsylvania (Dead show), Rhode Island (driving), Tennessee (driving), Texas (living), Virginia (college), West Virginia (driving), and Wyoming (family).
5. Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? I’d have to say Ka Lae – South Point – on the big island of Hawaii. It’s the southernmost point in the United States, on the same level as Mexico City. It’s terribly windy there and the trees are bent sideways. The windmills make an eerie humming noise. There’s a green sand beach that’s spectacular (and deadly, with the rip tide) down a really miserable “road”.

Armstrong climbs to overall lead with Stage 11 win – CBS SportsLine. Go Lance, go!

My answer would have been: Because I didn’t know they were important then.

I’ve been watching Six Feet Under on HBO on Demand. I’d never watched an episode but kept reading glowing reviews, so I decided to give it a shot.

It’s worth the effort. I’m totally bummed that they only have up to episode 6 available right now. I could sit and watch it all night long. What an excellent show.

I just watched the episode where Nate comes to realize that his father has a private self whom nobody knows. If you have lost someone close to you, you know that you will never ever truly know them, but for the rest of your life you will be finding out stuff about them that amazes you.

I just discovered a $25 Blockbuster gift card buried on my desk. It’s going to get used to rent The Royal Tennenbaums and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Soon, I promise.

Well, we were going to go down to the ranch today to check out how badly it’s flooding (flood stage is 28 feet, current stage is 40 feet), but I slept really late so we ended up staying home. To atone for my laziness, we went and joined a health club this evening. They’re going to pump… (clap) me up!

Tonight we’re going out to eat at Castle Hill Cafe. I’ve never been there but I’ve been meaning to go for years. Check out the menu. Looks delish.