Fresh, Hot Wastes of Time

We sent the kids to visit their grandparents this weekend. I’m not used to having all this time to myself. Tonight we went to the old house and started to clean out the last room with crap in it, and we were attacked by 5 foot long killer cockroaches.

For those of you who don’t live where there are real cockroaches, know that Southern roaches tend to be rather big. Like, averaging 2 inches long. 2 inches, people. That’s as long as the first 2 joints of your index finger. They are red, they are huge, they are quick, they can fly at you when cornered, they get into everything, and I have a horrible, irrational fear of them. Nothing can turn me into a stereotypical housewife screaming and standing on a kitchen chair quicker than a cockroach can. And I absolutely refuse to kill them, because they… crunch. And curdled yellow goo comes out.

Spiders? Fine. June bugs? Sure. Locusts? Used to keep them as pets when I was a kid. But roaches send me into the red every time.

We set off 11 fumigators in the house and left. Since I’ve only had one meal today (McDonald’s, how healthy) I thought I’d come home and eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The real kind, on bread. Only when I walked into the living room, I noticed that A) the brown sugar box that had previously been on the counter in the kitchen was now in the middle of the living room rug and B) the dog looked really sheepish. This can mean nothing good. In the kitchen, I saw that the previously full loaf of bread was now nothing but a few scattered shards of plastic wrapper. That fucking dog had eaten an entire loaf of bread.

I wasn’t too hard on him, since we didn’t get home until midnight and he’s used to eating at 10. Hub took off his belt and came bolting up the stairs when I told him what happened, but I intervened and he settled (under protest) for giving the dog a second serious scolding, including reminding the dog that hub had recently acquired a new gun that he needs to try out.

So much for my PB&J. Guess it’s leftover Chinese food for me.

They were right… eBay really is going to the dogs.
Creepy stuff to keep you up at night.
Even more stuff to keep you up at night, a.k.a. The Gloved One, redux.

I shamelessly stole this from M.S.’s blog.

“synonym”, “tongue”, “zither”, “loving”, “wipe”.

I was awakened this morning by a stealthy baby. She sat up in bed which woke me up, but I feigned sleep in the hopes that she’d lie back down. Instead, she crawled over to me and on top of my head (my back was to her) and planted a big kiss on my cheek.

How could I pretend to sleep through that? What a sweet way to wake up.

I went to see a doctor today about the pain in my heel. I have plantar fasciitis. I’m basically supposed to take some Advil and call him in a month. And I can’t use the treadmill anymore.

Speaking of which, I went to the gym yesterday even though I had an upset tummy and oh. my. gosh. I was weak as a kitten. I did my leg strength training, then went to the treadmill for 30 mins or so of cardio, and I lasted for five whole minutes. And that was a stretch. For the rest of the night I was completely weak in the knees, and not in a good way. I feel much better today, but I can definitely tell that I shouldn’t have gone yesterday because I really overworked myself – and that at lower weights on the machines than I normally use.

On the plus side (minus side), the doctor’s scale today confirmed my scale, which means that I really have lost 15 pounds. I had a dreadful fear that my scale was 10 pounds light or something.

I got my ultimate iPod accessory kit in the mail today but it came too late. The damned screen is already scratched.

Heavy sigh.

Today’s This or That Thursday:

1. Dr. Seuss characters: the Cat in the Hat or the Grinch?
When I was growing up, it was the Cat, but now that I’m older I’ve found the appeal of the Grinch.

2. "Anne of Green Gables" or "Little Women"?
Hm, same thing here. I read all the Anne books as a kid and loved them, but then as an adult I read and loved Little Women.

3. Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys?
Nancy Drew all the way, baby! I probably owned 75 of these at one point or another. Nancy’s Titian hair and roadster will always have a special place in my heart.

4. Winnie the Pooh characters: Tigger or Eeyore?
Tigger. I gave up the goth pessimist stuff 10 years ago.

5. Which author: Judy Blume or Beverly Cleary?
Judy Blume. Who can forget Ralph?

6. Roald Dahl books: "Charlie & the Chocolate Factory" (Willy Wonka) or "James & the Giant Peach"?
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, since I haven’t read James and the Giant Peach (or seen the movie, even).

7. "Harry Potter" or "The Wizard of Oz"?
The Oz books are so classic that it’s hard to put anything above them, but I’ve found myself reading Harry Potter more often.

8. Curious George or Madeline?
Curious George, because I am too.

9. "A Wrinkle in Time" or "Little House on the Prairie"?
Wrinkle in Time! And Wind in the Door and Swiftly Tilting Plant, and the Narnia books, and the Dark is Rising series, and and and…

10. Dr. Seuss again: "Horton Hears a Who" or "The Lorax"?
Oh, the Lorax of course. I made Dad read that to me every night.

F is for FANTASTIC!
Poodle spider
If the pouch has been neglected for long, you might find things that will really surprise you.
The sad existence of a specimen jar.
Yes, we are all judging you.
You know, I’ve been searching for a source of dried cattle bungs.

“Befuddled”