- Reddit "What's your favorite unsolved mystery?" thread is a black hole. DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK. http://t.co/BBujH89KsM 13:52:51, 2014-10-06
- A mashup of Urban Hunt and Blair Witch – man gets lost in the Paris catacombs: https://t.co/oG6Ls3uwco 17:04:48, 2014-10-08
- Lame: websites that don't work unless they have "www" in front. 15:54:10, 2014-10-10
- Just once I want to hear the phone message say "Don't bother listening; we haven't changed our options since 1997." 16:00:23, 2014-10-10
Weekly Tweets
October 12, 2014 - 12:00 am
Weekly Tweets
October 5, 2014 - 12:00 am
- I want to read "Gone Girl," but I'm forcing myself to finish rereading ASOIAF 4-5 before I start. So I may never read "Gone Girl." 23:36:48, 2014-09-29
- When you accidentally scratch a bug bite that had finally stopped itching. 12:28:29, 2014-09-30
- I just yelled at a cup for having the gall to tumble out of my hands. 13:26:46, 2014-09-30
- Sometimes Google News confuses me. http://t.co/MVdwf6rN2J 11:30:24, 2014-10-03
- Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash. 18:15:04, 2014-10-04
- My twin cats are sitting on the backs of the chairs in the living room like they're the lions at the NYPD library. 22:14:49, 2014-10-04
Weekly Tweets
September 28, 2014 - 12:00 am
- People with long hair, it is part of the social contract that you will keep that mess off of me in public spaces. Else ponytail that mess. 18:26:58, 2014-09-21
- Pro tip: if you hear the Macarena at a boy band concert, you're gonna want to duck. 19:34:23, 2014-09-21
- 8:55 and One Direction hasn't taken the stage. It's not like their fan base has to go to school in the morning. Also my phone battery's low! 20:00:32, 2014-09-21
- Every time my sweet precious little kitty opens his mouth to yawn, a cloud of MOST NOXIOUS DEATH FUMES emanates from the orifice and I reel. 23:46:14, 2014-09-24
- I wrote my daughters a note on their mirror: "SWEEP." It has been altered to "MERYL STREEP," Smartasses. 00:58:38, 2014-09-27
Weekly Tweets
September 21, 2014 - 12:00 am
- Have been trying, and failing, to recreate fruhstuck since our German trip. Those guys know how to eat breakfast! http://t.co/zF3krWr5wd 12:22:36, 2014-09-16
- "Authentic replica." 18:02:07, 2014-09-18
Weekly Tweets
September 14, 2014 - 12:00 am
- Do I have to take it off at night to charge it? 12:07:42, 2014-09-09
Weekly Tweets
September 7, 2014 - 12:00 am
- Plumbing! Air conditioning! Yay! 3 days of primitive camping in the 95 degree weather makes a stinky family. 16:13:45, 2014-09-01
- If you aren't done nerding out over ASOIAF, this in-depth character analysis blog will help you scratch that itch. http://t.co/IN2XUTKPgx 21:14:45, 2014-09-02
- Sign I'm old: The end of Reality Bites no longer seems cute, and I'm totally infuriated by it. Stupid irresponsible kid. She'll learn. 09:23:23, 2014-09-03
Weekly Tweets
August 31, 2014 - 12:00 am
- Oh my dear heavens. Sriracha whoopie pies. https://t.co/n0hADPlT0T 12:53:55, 2014-08-26
- High school yearbooks cost $70 these days. 15:27:33, 2014-08-29
Weekly Tweets
August 24, 2014 - 12:00 am
- Little fella was warming up in the road after the sun went down. http://t.co/bCyY7KV1Ct 20:13:01, 2014-08-20
- Did you ever get the feeling there's a Wocket in your pocket? 12:39:06, 2014-08-23