“Honey, can you get up? The baby crapped everywhere, down her legs, on the floor, in my cell phone, and she needs a bath but the hot water heater is broken; I need to go out and dig a hole to bury the cat; and the Columbia broke up over Texas.”
I just got through reading The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. It took me about 4 hours to read. I feel a bit gypped when I finish a book that’s supposed to be one of the best written in years that quickly.
It’s about a girl who was raped and killed and who narrates the story from heaven. The first part of the book was very interesting, the second part was long and drawn out with constant, seemingly unrelated, and extraneous scene shifts, and the last part was simply bizarre, as if the author wasn’t quite sure where to go with the story.
I wouldn’t recommend buying the book, but you could borrow it from a friend or the library.
The top books that I’ve read in the last year are still Boy’s Life, by Robert McCammon; House of Leaves, by Mark Z. Danielewski; and From a Buick 8, by Stephen King. Any one of those is worth the purchase price, most especially Boy’s Life, where the prose is nearly as melodic as Bradbury’s The Martian Chronicles.
I have nothing against protests. If you need to burn a flag, go ahead. I may not think it’s the coolest thing ever, but it’s your right (although burning the symbol of your right to burn the symbol of your right is a bit like the snake that eats itself, but I digress).
No, my problem is that people are co-opting a legitimate distress signal into a protest symbol. Now if there’s a ship at sea that’s taking on water and lost its radio and its only option for a distress signal is an upside down flag, is it going to get ignored?
How often do you pay attention to car alarms anymore? How abouy the winshield cardboard that says “Need help, call police”? To me flying the flag upside down to protest a war is akin to calling 911 and saying, “Help! Help! The president’s talking about war!”
“The flag should never be displayed with the union down, except as a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property.” Flying a flag upside-down is a signal for any passing military member to come and help. All the dolts who think they’re cool by flying their U.S. flags upside down are actually undermining their own damned cause.
I don’t think that the sentiment of “Fuck Bush” represents extreme danger to Everlasting Blort’s life or property.
Life’s too short to link to nimrods.
To recap the day’s events:
1 y.o. is still sick, feverish and crapping and puking everywhere, with the added bonus of being really lethargic and scaring us.
I put up a forum for people wanting to discuss their Featureprice (sucks) experiences, over here.
The cat’s really not doing well; he’s been in the hospital over the weekend with an IV in and his numbers are not going down enough. He’s also not eating, and the vet says that if he doesn’t pull through by Wednesday, he probably won’t pull through at all.
We were supposed to drop off the kids in Houston and go to the ranch this weekend, but since one is dreadfully ill and the other hasn’t gotten sick yet, it’s looking really doubtful.
On the plus, or minus, side – I joined Weightwatchers Online last Wednesday. My weigh-in day is Monday, and as of this morning I’ve lost 2 pounds.
Eagle-eye super sleuth M. called Featureprice (sucks)’s tech support number today and discovered that instead of three minutes of belittling “customers suck” rant, it’s now a slender 60 seconds of “please”.
Damn, I knew I should have recorded the old one while I had the chance.
Here’s a forum where you can go to talk about Featureprice!
I signed up with Featureprice (sucks) last May, encouraged by their online helpdesk and 99.9% uptime guarantee. I had several outages and the 24 hour outage last weekend kicked off this saga. If I don’t get a refund, I will take them to small claims court – unless there’s a lawyer out there willing to take them on pro-bono. Or other Featureprice (sucks) people coming to this page from searching on “featureprice sucks” (there’ve been quite a few!) who want to look into a class action suit. It’s mindboggling how these people stay in business by treating their customers like 2 year olds.
Right now, before you read the rest of this post, call 1-800-214-8829 and listen to the tech support message. It really sets the tone for their attitude towards paying customers. Don’t worry – there is no danger of talking to a live person. Instead you’ll get the three minute message about how incompetent you are for not reading your manual and having to call tech support.
Timeline:
Saturday, 1/18:
My website had been down all day, following a previous outage on the 12th (with a previous helpdesk ticket that hadn’t gotten answered).
7:30 pm email to Featureprice (sucks) support:
www.addlepated.net is down again. Mail’s working fine. I don’t think that the last ticket, a few days ago, on this same issue was ever closed. Can you please tell me what the problem is and when it will be completely fixed? Thanks.
Sunday 1/19:
1:00am email to Featureprice (sucks) support:
I don’t know what Featureprice’s problem is, and I don’t care, really. All I know is that I’ve had site issues since 1/12 with no resolution, and I just spent three minutes on hold for tech support listening to a really condescending message implying that nobody who calls that number has a legitimate reason to do so. I am totally fed up. I pay $25 a month for web hosting, a service which I cannot seem to receive reliably from you people. I’d suggest that you resolve my issue ASAFP.
To recap: www.addlepated.net is down again. Fix it, tell me why it was broken, and assure me it won’t happen again. Tonight.
I receive autoresponses for these emails at 10:46 PM and 11:56 PM on 1/19, respectively.
Approximately midnight I sign up with another hosting provider.
Wednesday, 1/22:
9:04am Response from Featureprice (sucks):
Hello Sir,
We have checked your site “www.addlepated.net” and it is up and working
fine.
Your domains DNS entries are not changed to our name servers.
So please change your name servers entries to our name servers.
If you face any problem or need more information please feel free to
contact us.
Thank you.
9:14am response to second trouble ticket:
Hello Sir,
Your domains DNS entries are not changed to our name servers.
So please change your name servers entries to our name servers.
If you face any problem or need more information please feel free to
contact us.
Thank you.
1:23pm my response:
I know they’re not changed to your DNS servers. That’s because after over 24 hours of downtime and no response from Featureprice, I’m leaving for a server that offers connectivity, not crap. Do you realize that I sent this problem in on SUNDAY and it is now a WEDNESDAY and you’re JUST NOW getting around to checking it?
Are you going to refund me my prorated fees for the rest of the year, or do we need to go through the long and drawn out process of gaining a charge-back from my credit card company? I understand (from http://www.yourhostsucks , a veritable plethora of information on how lousy Featureprice’s “services” are) that many others have done so in the past with very good success. I figure your company owes me at least $75 for the months I will not be using it, not to mention you’ve breached your 99.9% “uptime guarantee” per year. I’d had far more than 3.65 days worth of downtime with Featureprice. Check tickets 40707, 40941, 66698, 81409, 82496, 107760, 1079, and 1445. How do you plan to keep your “guarantee”?
Sincerely,
MRS. D. Cook
not “Hello Sir”
Friday, 1/24
11:07am response from Featureprice (sucks)
Subject: [FeaturePrice #1445] Status Changed to:FREE BASIC SUPPORT dead
===========ATTENTION!!!==================
YOU ARE ALLOWED ONE TICKET PER DAY, YOU MAY ASK AS MANY QUESTIONS
AS YOU WOULD LIKE, BUT YOU CAN ONLY HAVE ONE TICKET. BE WISE WITH
THE USAGE OF TICKET AND QUESTIONS YOU ASK, THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU
WANT AND NEED TO ASK OR HAVE ASSISTANCE IN AND SEND OFF ONE TICKET
AS ALL ADDITIONAL TICKETS WILL BE REMOVED FOR THAT DAY.
Live Chat Services: http://livechat.featureprice.com
/\***READ YOUR USER MANUAL ALWAYS***/\
/\***ALL ANSWERS ARE LOCATED IN THERE***/\
/\***THAT IS WHAT WE USE TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS***/\
NEXT, YOU ARE NOT GUARANTEED A TURN AROUND TIME ON BASIC FREE SUPPORT
IF YOU NEED A GUARANTEED TURN AROUND TIME YOU CAN PURCHASE A
PREMIUM PAID INCIDENT SUPPORT AT HTTP://STORE.FEATUREPRICE.COM
PREMIUM PAID SUPPORT IS GUARANTEED 1HR TURN AROUND
PHONE SUPPORT:
YOU MAY ONLY CALL SUPPORT IF YOU HAVE RECEIVED A RESPONSE TO THIS
TICKET, YOU MAY NOT CALL IF YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED A RESPONSE.
YOU WILL NEED THIS TICKET NUMBER WHEN CALLING SO KEEP A COPY OF THIS
TICKET NUMBER.
4:46pm my response:
> ===========ATTENTION!!!==================
YELLING IS RUDE!
> YOU ARE ALLOWED ONE TICKET PER DAY, YOU MAY ASK AS MANY QUESTIONS
> AS YOU WOULD LIKE, BUT YOU CAN ONLY HAVE ONE TICKET.
IS THIS WHAT THE “(12 months of Prefered Priority support *)
Special TOLL FREE 800 Number **ONLY** for Platnium Clients” ON YOUR ACCOUNT SIGNUP REFERS TO? ONE WHOLE TICKET A DAY! WOOHOO! YIPPEE! YAY! I HATE TO THINK WHAT THE MINI PLAN GETS! ONE A YEAR?
> BE WISE WITH
> THE USAGE OF TICKET AND QUESTIONS YOU ASK, THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU
> WANT AND NEED TO ASK OR HAVE ASSISTANCE IN AND SEND OFF ONE TICKET
> AS ALL ADDITIONAL TICKETS WILL BE REMOVED FOR THAT DAY.
> Live Chat Services: http://livechat.featureprice.com
> /\***READ YOUR USER MANUAL ALWAYS***/\
IT SAYS TO GO TO HELPDESK.FEATUREPRICE.COM WHICH DOESN’T WORK. IF SOMEONE FROM FEATUREPRICE TELLS ME TO READ MY MAUNAL AGAIN THERE’S GOING TO BE A PROBLEM.
> /\***ALL ANSWERS ARE LOCATED IN THERE***/\
LIKE “WHAT DO I DO IF MY HOST SUCKS?” NOPE, CHECKED IT, NOT THERE.
> /\***THAT IS WHAT WE USE TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS***/\
LIKE “WHAT DO I DO IF MY HOST SUCKS?” NOPE, CHECKED IT, NOT THERE. YOUR WEBSITE DOES SAY “On this page you can learn more about the fact why your website will have an uptime of 99.9% – no more stress – a relief from all your hosting headaches. ”
YOU’RE RIGHT. YOU’RE NOT A HEADACHE, YOU’RE A FREAKING MIGRAINE.
> NEXT, YOU ARE NOT GUARANTEED A TURN AROUND TIME ON BASIC FREE SUPPORT
HEY, CLEAR THE COTTON OUT OF YOUR EARS. I’M A PLATINUM CUSTOMER. I’M SUPPOSED TO HAVE “(12 months of Prefered Priority support *)
Special TOLL FREE 800 Number **ONLY** for Platnium Clients”
> IF YOU NEED A GUARANTEED TURN AROUND TIME YOU CAN PURCHASE A
> PREMIUM PAID INCIDENT SUPPORT AT HTTP://STORE.FEATUREPRICE.COM
LIKE I’M GOING TO SHELL OUT ANY MORE MONEY ON YOUR CRAP-ASS SERVICE. BESIDES, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I’VE EVEN HEARD OF GETTING THAT, SINCE THERE’S A VAGUE REFERENCE TO IT AT YOUR NEW “HELP” PAGE BUT NO LINK.
> PREMIUM PAID SUPPORT IS GUARANTEED 1HR TURN AROUND
AND PLATINUM SUPPORT IS GUARANTEED 1 WEEK, RIGHT?
> PHONE SUPPORT:
> YOU MAY ONLY CALL SUPPORT IF YOU HAVE RECEIVED A RESPONSE TO THIS
> TICKET, YOU MAY NOT CALL IF YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED A RESPONSE.
> YOU WILL NEED THIS TICKET NUMBER WHEN CALLING SO KEEP A COPY OF THIS
> TICKET NUMBER.
> =============================================
> http://help.featureprice.com/rt/Ticket/Display.html?id=1445
MIND TELLING ME WHY MY LOGIN AND PASSWORD DON’T WORK THERE?
BY THE WAY, “*99.9% uptime assurance: We assure you that your website will be up and running at least 99.9% of the time of any 12-month period.”
MY WEBSITE WAS DOWN FOR 24 HOURS LAST WEEK. THAT MEANS THAT JUST WITH THIS INCIDENT, MY WEBSITE HAS AT THE MOST BEEN UP AND RUNNING 99.72603% OF THIS TWELVE MONTH PERIOD.
I WANT MY MONEY BACK. YOU HAVE VIOLATED YOUR GUARANTEE.
I’LL REPEAT IT SO IT’S CLEAR.
I WANT MY MONEY BACK. YOU HAVE VIOLATED YOUR GUARANTEE.
—
I like the part where they downgraded my service to “FREE BASIC SUPPORT”. Wonder if it’s because I wanted my money’s worth out of them and they got mad and took their toys and went home.
My current webhosting company, Featureprice, sucks. Featureprice sucks because I’ve had a trouble ticket open with them for a week, my site went down for over 24 hours yesterday, and when I called up their tech support number last night to complain, I had to listen to a three minute bitchy condescending message about how if you people would learn to read your manuals you 64,000 wouldn’t be tying up the phone line for the three people who actually had a legitimate complaint. Therefore they won’t even bother to help you unless you have a ticket number, which you get from sending in a trouble report via email and getting a response from them. Problem is they don’t send responses, and if you call the tech support number you listen to a three minute long whine and then they say they don’t have anyone to help you anyway, click.
I’ve prepaid $25/month for Featureprice, but www.featureprice.com sucks.
The more times that Google picks up the link “Featureprice sucks“, the higher the link in their index. Therefore someone searching for “featureprice” would instead get my page describing how Featureprice sucks. This is something I encourage you all to do on your page – link to www.featureprice.com with the text Featureprice sucks.
Even NetMechanic agrees that Featureprice sucks.
I’m moving web services to a new hosting company that I researched intensively last night and found only one complaint for (on the YourHostSucks Forums), which was directly addressed by the head dude of the company in a mature and levelheaded manner. That’s more than I can say for a lot of net services, which seem to be run by the skinny geeks from high school who are now getting their petty revenge on the rest of the world (hello, Texas.net!).
I’ll check them out for a while and post back with how they fare. Hopefully the InterNIC will propogate my changes tonight.
Remember, kids – Featureprice sucks!